soap opera or my life?

2007-02-17T18:45:00.000-08:00

Time for my annual infrequent blog post...haha.

First off I proudly celebrated my son's first birthday on Feb 15 *day after VDay..awesome huh?* I made him the most bitchin' cookie monster cake ever. Pictures will be posted when I get around too it lol. He is growing more amazing with each passing day and as I said I couldn't be more proud.

Secondly, I am totally in love with my bed right now. I got this wicked new memory foam topper thing and new pillows and fleece sheets that aren't too hot and super soft. It is THE most wonderfully comfy bed. You could sleep for days, which I would if I had the time. Seriously I want people to sleep in my bed..preferably people I knew other wise that would be awkward lol. But it is not a booty bed. See the booty bed is my old bed, with the slope in the middle *for premium ass positioning* and with the leopard print sheets. This bed is all about snoozin. Although no offer for sex in this bed would probably be turned down. :)

Third and last on my agenda

Britney.... Damn girl.

You know as much as I have hacked on this woman I can't help but feel a bit of pity for her. At her current state I can see nothing but tragic things for her and as a fellow mom..its really most tragic for the children.

This is going beyond forgetting your panties in public,the shaved head, the supposed orgies. There is a very sad,jaded,lost woman out there and everyone is salivating for the moment when she finally self destructs. Only then will people love and embrace her and like Anna Nicole Smith, it will be a moment too late.

2007-02-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

Last night I stood out in the street
watching snowflakes fall upon my feet
I realized then I was alone
as my family slept inside my home
I wondered whats become of me
as I looked up to the sky
looking for an answer
to appear before my eyes
As I waited there
I knew no sign would come
I slowly became colder
until my body became numb
I returned inside my little home
and felt a hopeless space
until I checked in on my little one
and saw the look upon his face
So peaceful as he lay there
lost inside his dreams
suddenly I had my sign
it was all so clear to me
I might not have all that I want
but I want all that I have
And as long as he lay breathing
life can't surely be that bad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If cheese whiz adds personality
you'd better eat the jar
because you need all the help you can get
with a downer like you are
If you hate who you are and what you do
I suggest you take a pill
or go jump of the highest bridge
it might give you a thrill
I don't mean to sound so harsh
but I can't figure out why
you have so much to be thankfull for
but yet you sit around and cry
So what goes around comes around
and when it comes down to the end
just remember these simple words from me
~You Get What you Put In~

2007-01-29T10:35:00.000-08:00

Uhm...okie dokie then blogger.

I had written a big post yesterday and it posted and now its gone. Wtf?

I hope this post makes it up cuz if it doesn't I'm gonna kick some blogger anus.

you can tell I mean business when I say anus and not just ass.

just to make you smile..a little

2007-01-23T19:39:00.000-08:00

2007-01-22T13:56:00.000-08:00

The last couple days have been really long for me. My dad just got a new job and is away on a training course and my mom works till 3 so its just been me and the little guy. It seems like the older he gets the more crazy it is lol. He's so wild and just gets into everything..seriously we have locks on half the cabinets. Also like a typical boy he loves to get dirty..luckily for me he likes baths! He's awesome though, so freaking happy. Most of the time he just giggles and smiles. Even when he's getting into trouble haha.. which is sometimes a problem because even when I yell at him he just blows me off and giggles and then its hard to stay mad because he starts being a suck up. *sigh* learning from the best I guess haha.

I've been trying super hard to eat better lately and have been doing a pretty good job but I'm just surprised because I thought I would have more energy but it almost feels like I have less. I'm also craving fat and sugar. I've been taking more vitamins and I got these vitamins that are supposed to help with weight loss. As for activity the weather here sucks major ass as we have winds that could blow you back to OZ...so I've been going up and down our stairs alot,dancing with Cash *which is like dancing while holding a 25 pound ball* and just trying to move around a lot more. Pretty much anything I can do to try and loose a few pounds.

I'm also working on my mind lately as well. I've been trying to stick to my resolution of reading more and learing about things going on in the world. I HATE reading the local paper because most of it is about all the little punks in this city getting busted for various things. I try to keep up on world events,politics,weather ect. Also just researching random things. The other day I looked up and read about the Easter Islands. It was wicked fascinating and I was surprised by how much it parallels modern western life. Oh and how religion needs to be stopped lol. Just kidding....sorta.

Anywho I've got to decide what I'm making for supper *I've taken over doing it because nobody else seems to or else we just get like..cereal lol.*

peace out

2007-01-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

My computer is finally fixed..again.

I've been busy lately.. I've even gone out! With boys! that aren't gay or good friends. Neat-o isn't it!?

Its nothing interesting yet just a few coffee/dinner/movie type things. I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now.

2007-01-10T19:44:00.000-08:00

Well today was an average day, work,baby ect...

Although one thing did irritate me just a tad.

This guy that I met ages ago back in my waitressing days *when I was a way more flirty...okay I was a tart lol* I gave him my # and he called me a few times but I kinda blew him off because he wasn't really my type and I'm fickle like that. Well I've seen him a few times over the past couple years and I've always been pleasant, making small talk for a few minutes that kind of thing and everytime I talk to him he makes sure to mention how good his job is, how nice his place is,how much cash he makes ect.

Same old story today, comes in and first off says to me " Oh your still working here?!" Uhm yeah I've only been at my current job for not even a year because I was off about 5 months..having a baby will do that to ya.

Then he goes on to tell me about the job he's at now and how he's making all this money and getting these huge bonuses and how his gf just goes shopping all day on his dime yada yada yada. And then in the next breath he drops the hint that he wishes somedays he could be single and date around and looks at me like I'm going to drop to my knees and blow him for a chance. LOL no....

Seriously there is almost nothing *besides cheating* that I find more unappealing and pathetic than a guy who has to compensate his rejection by talking himself up and trying to make me feel guilty. Why do men do that?! Honestly that has happend to me a few times. I've hooked up with a guy or two just casually and I've cut them loose for whatever reason and I've never been a bitch about it but the next time I see them they are running their mouths trying to make me jealous. Its really lame.

story of my life...

2007-01-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

2006-12-31T19:11:00.000-08:00

The last post of 2006.

My son was born Feb 15,2006...best of the year.

The rest of it was pretty much crap lol

heres to 2007.

I resolve to quit being a fatty and be the best yummy mummy I know I can be. I would also like to get laid. If there are any takers to the task let me know lol.

happy new year!

2006-12-24T20:04:00.000-08:00

okay...so I started writing this really deep blog but then I erased it because..I felt silly writing it. I don't really like writing about my deep feelings anymore because it feels pointless in a way, like it doesn't matter how I feel about things because they don't often coincide with reality. After all,reality is the only thing that truly matters when it all comes down to it.

I guess thats why the phrase is "But a girl can dream can't she?"

Besides, if even half of some of my dreams came true..I think I would probably explode or something lol.

merry xmas

2006-12-22T11:06:00.000-08:00

Things I would like to do in 2007:

Make time to read more. Wiki about places I would love to go and things I want to learn how to do.

See the movies "Perfume", The # 23 and "Grindhouse"

Buy my son mass multitudes of cool clothes

Get my hair done,nails done and start working out more often

Write more, not just blog but actual pen to paper. Also scrap booking (yeah I'm a nerd but its fun)

Become a wine snob

Become more positive and let go of old wounds

I'm sure I will add more along the way but its a start... I hope that everyone finds the comming year to be a bit better than the last. My wish for everyone is to enjoy the love and company of family and friends but to also cherish the time you spend alone because you can learn more from your self than anyone else.

Merry Christmas.. ~K~

2006-12-12T20:26:00.000-08:00

Is it creepy that I fantasize about doing things with people that I know will never happen? I don't think it is...Fuck off I'm lonely okay :P Besides its nice fantasizing...well mostly hahah. Trust me ladies if you knew the guy I was thinking about you probably would get a little excited too.

I'm glad everyone has stopped talking about Borat. I in no way think that making people feel and look stupid is funny. Plus he irritates the hell out of me. "Me think you stupid comedian need to stop trying now."

I got new pillows for my bed *very plush* and nice clean new sheets. I'm gonna sleep soo good. Not like a baby though, whoever made up that saying obviously never had children. lol

2006-12-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

You know whats sexy? being sick..boogers are totally hot..uhmmm okay maybe not.

I have another sinus infection and the added treat of a bronchial infection..the upside? Pretty,pretty pills. :P

not much to add today. I will try to post more tomorrow.

2006-12-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

Song of the day: Korn and Dem Franchise Boys: Comming undone Remix. Loud and kinda angry..like me :) and Show Me What Ya Got: Jay-Z *fucking adore Jay-Z everything he does is amazing*

So happy, Cash only woke up ONCE! last night. So I actually slept. Which would explain why I don't look like a cats ass today. I also only work 1-6 so I can't complain too much.

Is anybody else getting sick of seeing/hearing about Britney Spear's cooter?? I know I am. That thing should be getting its own reality show its getting so much exposure! Britney honey, if you can afford a prada bag and dior sunglasses I know you can afford a 5$ pair of undies from Walmart!!!! * don't for get to wash em once in a while too*

Well bitches, as always...behave *or at least look innocent when you get caught*

2006-12-01T17:01:00.000-08:00

Heres the latest.. I have no time.

I'm working my ass off and sleep has become mostly a fond memory.

I had the strangest dream last night about getting some kind of back surgery and the man of my dreams was a doctor...he was hot and I have no idea who he was! he had the most amazing eyes though, kind of a green/hazel. Who knows maybe he'll be in my future. Ha ya right :P

Although I did get a nice compliment from a customer the other day, we were chatting and got into a little debate about Bush and New Orleans and yada yada and he said "Its nice to know there are still some cute girls with brains out there." I blushed profusely. It made my day.

I've been feeling kinda crappy about all the weight I've gained, I know I'm doing it because of stress. Cash hasn't been sleeping very much at all and I get wound up and over tired so I eat to relax. Lame I know. I try to eat healthy stuff but I know I'm eating way more than I should. I need some duct tape lol. Actually I just need to find a man, I was always slimmer when I was *ahem* burning it off.

Its a little bit of lonelyness too..I'm sick of all these fairweather friends that are always "busy" when you try to get a hold of them yet they always pull the "You never call me " routine when I see them. Cuz it would kill them to call or email or go out and see a movie. Fuck whatever. People are over rated sometimes :P

I've been cooking a lot more, I must say I'm becoming pretty damn good. Some guy is never going to be hungry with me around!

anyway its time for the masters bath, so I gotta run...

2006-11-19T13:09:00.000-08:00

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!

Yes, today is the Grey cup and I'm rooting for B.C for the win.

A friend of mine informed at 2:30(am) that he was already in line for the new nintendo WII. I replied by calling him crazy..and a nerd :) *he knows I luv him*

Seriously I can't think of anything that I would wait in line, over night..freezing my beautiful buns off for. Unless they had knee high black suede high heel boots on for like 10$..maybe then.

At least its not as crazy here as in the states, I read about some kid getting shot as he waited in line for a PS3 because some thugs tried to take his money and he wouldn't give it up..they also had rioting at stores with people trying to get in to get one. Retarded much?

Not much new going on in the life right now, although I am excited because I am going to be working a few more shifts to make extra money. Also by this time next week i'm going to have a hot new hair color. I'm not saying what its going to be for sure, I could change by next week lol.

Gotta go get all the munchies ready for the game, I'm even sitting my little guy infront of the t.v. so he can watch too. My mom makes him watch Gilmore Girls so I gotta do some damage control LOL.

peace out bitches ~luv me~

2006-11-14T07:41:00.000-08:00

Only have time for a quick post.

I've been super busy lately, the shopping for Christmas has begun. Thankfully we drew names so I only have my brother and Cash to buy for. I doubt my parents will stick to it and I doubt my sister will (uhm cuz shes loaded) but its better on the wallet for me.

My other downfall of shopping is that in the quest to find the perfect gift, I always find things that would be perfect for me! What can I say, if nobody else will give to me then shouldn't I give to myself?!!?!

What does everyone else want for Xmas?

Theres nothing I can think of that I want at the moment that I don't already have. Ohhh..except maybe a man that is mute and gorgeous (just kidding)

ta ta for now, kisses...~K~

2006-11-05T20:59:00.000-08:00

Hello bloggerinos.

The quest to figure my shit out hasn't been going so well..I guess its my procrastination mentality that keeps me from "finding" the time to sit and think. That and I'm pretty much exhausted from chasing after a very active little monster lol...yeah that cute kid up there.

I've decided that as far as my ex fiance goes, I'm done taking the high road and pretending that what he does and did isn't bothering me. It is and yes I can admit it here..*although not aloud quite yet* That yes, I hate him. I despise him every minute of everyday that passes that he misses seeing one of the only good things he ever did in his life. Some people might say that not being able to forgive him or let it go makes me a bad person but I don't really give a fuck. I'm also done playing his little game that he thinks that if he keeps telling me how much he cares that I won't take him to court. Its just as much his responsibilty and he's gotten out of things his whole life...not this time.

Okay enough bitterness..

Cash is surprising me more and more everyday. We had to drop his crib to the bottom rung because he has learned how to stand up. Its so amazing to see this little human doing all these things we normally take for granted. He's also working on forming new sounds. I'm thinking his first word is probably bottle because he always seems to say BABABABA! when he's hungry. I'm still holding out for MaMa though.

Does anyone else find it absurd that the second halloween is over they start playing X-mas music!? It seems like retailers just want to cram the holiday spirit so far down your throat that we are all shitting yuletide (sp?) *Is that a piece of tinsel??? hahah*

Thanks to everyone who's shown me some love on here, I've said it before and I'll say it again...I've never personally met some of you but sometimes I feel like I would trust you more than some of the people I actually know. Your all a bunch of very cool cats. For those of you that I do know and love me...I love you back times eleventy billion :) Even if you refuse to sleep with me...LOL *ya know you waaaannnnt it!*

What else can I say right now? I'm neither unhappy,nor overly happy so I guess at the moment things are alright.

OH...I went to SAW3 the other day *which would have been better if the person I saw it with wasn't being a complete pms'y bitch that day..but anywho* It was alright, I wasn't down with the very end but the rest of the movie cleaned up nicely. I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone that hasn't seen it but I will say that I'm not going to ever become a brain surgeon *yucky* lol.

I would also like to add that Britney and K-fed are finally getting a divorce *WHAT?! SHOCKER!!!* not really. Good for Britney, bitch was hot before that no good scrub fell into her life. I can relate though. Her relationship with him was just like me and my ex..except I don't have millions of dollars, a singing career,or fake tits...everything else though...to a T.

Well I'm not going to make any promises but I am going to try and make a few regular blogs. Hopefully they won't be so freaking emo!

Peace out kids...

2006-10-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

So as most of you may have noticed I haven't been posting much and the posts I do are kinda shitty.

I think I've just lost my inspiration. I write best when I'm really happy or really angry and right now I'm really neither haha.

I've gotten apathetic but I think its the only way I can deal with my interalized feelings right now. The passion is gone I tell you!!! *obviously the drama is still there*

Maybe I just need to get laid. LOL.

Does anyone ever wonder if other people wonder about them? I do, I wonder if people are ever just sitting there and go "I wonder what shes doing" or "I wish she was here" I guess for the amount I wonder about other people it would be nice to know someone was thinking about me.

Theres a saying, "Is it better to be completely forgotten or hatefully remembered?" Sometimes I'm not sure although I would probably want to be forgotten. I suppose it wouldn't really matter though because I would be gone either way lol.

Anyways..sorry that things are so few and far between. I still read just about everyone elses blogs and am always interested by the crazy things everyone has to talk about.

~K~

Effin rights Doggy....

2006-10-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

2006-10-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

I know its been over a week since my last post. I've had a lot on my plate lately.

You know when you think about something so much that the thought of actually putting it down on paper makes you sick? Thats kinda what I've been doing.

I'm thinking I'm going to look into going to therapy, yeah yeah I know I've said it before that I personally don't believe in it but shit is getting to thick for me. I just don't know what good telling everything to another person who knows absolutly nothing about me will do. That was kinda the point of this blog. I would vent out my side and my feelings and not have to care what anyone else said or thought. Those who know me, know me and those who don't can either get to know me or click on the next blog button.

I guess I'm just getting worn down by my ex. I do this every single time he comes around talking his talk. I know its just talk but it doesn't make it any easier. Everyone has one of those, the ex that you know is absolutly toxic and you should just cut them out of your life but for some reason your resolve just melts everytime they call. Its almost like a having a multiple personality. Reading him write that he still loves me gets to me just a little in my heart but on the other hand I want to just scream and punch my monitor because if he really loved me he wouldn't have done all the things he's done.

Dammit... getting way to emotional here. Time to reign it in.

So I probably won't go to a therapist. I really don't have the money lol.

2006-10-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

I feel like pooties. *thats the word we use for Cash's poops*

I have yet another sinus infection and possibly strep throat too! I swear I almost threw up on the doctor when he took a swab from the back of my throat. I know what your all thinking...shut up I'm out of practice okay!!!

MY whole head feels like its on fire and the rest of me is frozen solid, I had to put the space heater in my room.

Cash is sick too which is super sucky because he can't even take pills, he just has to suck it up. I do however enjoy the fact that he wants to cuddle because he doesn't feel good. He smells so good *its a baby thing* and I could sit and listen to him chatter all night...but I won't because I'm feeling like crud.

I have nothing else to blog about as there has been nothing of intrest lately...I should expect that would mean something crazy exciting is going to happen to me really soon.

2006-10-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, its been a really slow life lately! nothing of intrest worth writing about= nothing of intrest worth reading about.

Although I did buy and have yet to finish watching "The Transporter 2" I still lust for Jason's hot body and charming manner but I have to say the first one was better.

I need to get laid..no actually I need intimacy which is different. I don't really care about sex. But I want someone to be close to and then have sex with. That came out sounding funnier than I entended. MEH!

2006-10-08T15:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Turkey day to all my Canadian peeps!

Even if your not Canadian I'm thankful to have you all as blogger buds and I'm thankful for my wonderful son. I'm also thankful for caramel machiattos from Starbucks, bubble baths and wine.

Sigh...

2006-10-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

My exfiance did his bi-monthly reach out and touch me thing... He sent me an email filled with mostly the same stuff he always says.. That he's a fool for doing all the things he did,that I must hate his guts, how his life has gone to shit and he'll do anything to make things right and maybe some day get me back.

Delusional much??

Its just getting repetitive, I like to tell him that I don't hate him *to make him feel worse* because I can't be the judge of his fuck ups *but God can!*

I tell him that I still have no intrest in ever being with him again because I will never trust him *or his lying ass* and if he ever wants to have any kind of contact with his son he has to shape up his act. Which he always swears up and down that he's going to do *which remains to yet be seen, keep in mind he was cheating before the baby was even born!*

Basically he's nothing more than a mild annoyance in my life right now because I know how its going to go. He'll shape up for maybe a month or two and then he'll fuck it up again and i won't hear from him for a few months and then he'll pop back in ect.

I will admit that I know its petty but when I read in his email that the whore he was shacked up with took off with all his money and is getting him evicted...I laughed. I know that makes me kind of a bad person but I believe in Karma...

Anyway I'm heading to bed because my stomach doesn't feel very good *damn you tasty thai salad* and I want to get in a few Zzzz's in case Cash decides that he wants a bottle in the middle of the night. He's so spoiled lol. But its okay because it just proves if your that cute you can get anything you want!!!

Wishing to be the friction in your jeans.....(long post,beware)

2006-10-02T20:22:00.000-07:00

Songs of the day : Fidelity-Regina Spektor, Tear drop- Massive attack *I would love to make out to this song*, Find out-Classified.

Went out to dinner tonight with a couple girl friends of mine from high school, had a good time. I had wine and we gossiped *of course* and I did the chick thing for a night. It was a nice reminder that I'm still a woman. I know that sounds silly but when all your used to doing is sitting around in sweat pants and a tank top looking after a baby you tend to loose your sensuality

We talked about our jobs, people we still talk to from high school, relationships..and yes SEX! lol. It was funny because I was the oldest at the table but out of the 3 of us the last to loose my V-card and yet I've had the most partners *I swear I'm not slutty my number isn't even in the double digits* and I'm also the most adventurous or as my friend put it "Freaky deeky"

I found this funny because I don't think theres anything wrong with that at all. If your with someone and your supposed to trust someone and you really care about them why wouldn't you want to be passionate and uninhibited. Why would you hold back? Your already having sex. Sex to me is more than just intercourse its a complete experiance. If I really care about my mate I don't want it to just be good. I want freakin nirvana. If that means getting a little wild and crazy. So be it. As long as its cool with both of us lol..some surprises are bad :P

But as I said to the girls I've been lucky to have had mostly wonderful partners *some just sexually speaking and some were both great people and great in the sack* and there are a few I wish I hadn't and theres always the one that got away....

They also thought it was surprising that I've kissed a few girls in my day, Really? I didn't think it was that taboo anymore. Although I think half of the surprise was that the girl was a very conservative religious girl. *She came on to me!!!* I don't think its that big of a deal. I wanted to know what kissing a girl was like and she wanted to kiss me *deep down she had a girl crush on me* and we wanted to get the attention of our boyfriends. They thought it was awesome, me not so much. I don't like kissing girls, too soft. My bf at the time had a disposable camera and still has the pictures, although I'm pretty sure his girlfriend wouldn't like it if those went up on the wall haha.

Hmmm switching gears here, I had a dream last night that I was at a karoke bar with one of my ex bf's whom I've been dreaming about a lot lately and he was singing. I don't know if I've ever heard him "sing" sing but he was good in my dream. Now I'm curious to know if he can actually sing. I wouldn't be surprised if he could, he's amazing at just about everything else..including making me feel like a shy little school girl everytime I see him LOL. Its so ridiculous how much of a crush I have on him and he knows it. But I know nothings ever gonna happen and I'm pretty cool with it. It just makes me sad in a variety of different places :P I'm so fucking romantic, whats not to love???? (rhetorical m'kay!)

I'm happy right now and I have no idea why. Its a little alarming, although Kiki told me that if I question my sanity I'm probably not crazy (Thanks Keeks!) It's almost like an odd feeling of uncertain optimism. I don't know that everythings going to be okay, I feel somedays like the biggest failure (mother, lover, friend) but its like theres this little voice inside me that says, "You know better than that. You were failed but that doesn't make you a failure" So I guess as long as the voice isn't a leprachaun telling me to burn things, I must be okay..Right?.. RIGHT?

Ewww, I hate it when my C-section scar itches because then I have to scratch it. Now you might be wondering whats so odd about that and why it would matter. WEll as you may or may not remember *depending on how long you've been reading* I had the area cut open not once, but twice and cutting and recutting through muscles and nerves did a little damage and I now have some perma semi numbness around there. So everytime I scratch that general area it feels funny. Not in a haha way.

Holy Crap..I've been blogging about nothing for almost an hour. The wine has done its trick into relaxing me though so I think I'm going put on something nice *albet functional in case I have to get up, satin jammies* and go to bed.

Everyone sleep tight and don't forget to show me some comment love.

*kisses*

2006-09-30T21:00:00.000-07:00

My apologies for the lack of postie goodness. I've been getting these incredible migranes off and on the last few days and that vertigo feeling. Light sucks,loud noises suck,being vertical for long periods of time sucks. *mind you I was always more of a horizontal girl anyway haha*

I've also been doing lots of cooking and baking, when not feeling like a sack of poop. Tonight I did a little baked chicken *tastes like fried* with some butter and herbed rice and steam veggies. I made Raspberry filled vanilla cupcakes with white chocolate frosting for dessert. Take that Morrimoto! :)

Okay I'm off too bed now. Be good fools!

2006-09-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

Do you ever want to say things but couldn't fathom the way to go about it?

You want to try and put it into words worthy enough to convey exactly how you feel..not just feel but how it affects every single one of your senses. Trying to call up a favorite memory and make it fresh by weaving into the present only to realize that the present is completely different than how you thought it would be in the past. Sometimes living a dream is easier than fully accepting reality.

I'm never quite sure if things are as amazing or as horrible as I remember them. Mostly because I can't explain half of them. A lot of people say they wish they could go back in time and do thing differently or forget bad things. I don't agree with either of those. Although I might speed past the bad memories and slow down the beautiful ones.

Gosh, this probably makes no sense to anyone. Ok I really need to go to bed now lol.

2006-09-26T19:42:00.000-07:00

Went for a long walk tonight with the ex (the one I'm still friends with) his daughter and my son. (they are a month apart) She is an gorgeous little girl and looks a lot like him. I think she has a crush on my kid *can't blame her lol* because she chatted at him a lot.

It was so nice to get out and have some company other than my parents! I love them but seriously I am so freaking lonely!!! Its hard when your friends that don't have kids, or don't understand what its like having kids get pissy because you can't just hang out whenever. You have to plan everything.

We went back to his house for a bit and his parents are so nice! I think thats the first time his brother has ever seen Cash, I don't think he really wanted to hold him but ya gotta play pass the baby. Lol. Its been a long time since I've seen the ex's brother...I was a little nervous but I'm used to looking/acting like a retard. :)

Cash and my ex's cat Tigger had a bit of a staring contest and then Cash decided to take a swipe for it. Tig was gone in about 2 seconds. I was more worried for the cat because he's so tame.

Wow. This must sound like such a mundane blog post! Hmmm how can I spice this up a bit???...Ohhh I know..I'm blogging in the NUDE~ errr ok not really. But that would be kinda exciting or horribly wrong. Depends on if you've seen me nude I guess :P I'm going to bed now!

kisses!

So much joy..

2006-09-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

Watching "The Transporter" right now and I am loving it!!!

I already like action movies and this happens to star Jason Statham to whom I would become a professional stalker for. Its got everything, ass kicking, Jason shirtless and greased up..oh yeah and some plot about kidnapping some chick..whatever. haha.

If I can't be the one kicking butt I would like to covet the one who is. :)

2006-09-23T20:51:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sick :( booo!!! I got a good laugh out of the fact that when I went to go to the doctor I usually see, he was out sick. Nice.

I have an infection of some kind and the doctor I saw said that I was feeling fucked up because of "vertigo". Sounds cool but feels horrible. It basically affects your inner ear and your balance and everytime I stand up and walk it feels like I'm in an elevator. Shitty no? So I got some meds *imagine,me being medicated* hehehe

I'm about to head to bed and I better have me some better dreams. They have been really stupid lately. I'm still kinda p'o *pissed off* about the one I had last night.

I was going to this summer camp with one of my ex's (well I'm not really sure if he classifies as an ex, but in a way he kinda does. Fuck whatever it was complicated) anyway in my dream we were together and went to this camp and I'm thinking its going to be all gravy so I go to put out bags in our cabin and I come out and there he is making out with the lead singer of the Pussy Cat Dolls.

BUH!!! Granted she is pretty hot but I was seriously upset. I started crying and then true to my real life self, I just got angry. So I went over, pried them apart and punched her in the chest. HARD! Like right in between her fake flotation devices. Bitch, mess with my man...er..in the dream. See, getting all rilled up again.

I hate having dreams about people in my real life because when I wake up I have to keep telling myself its not really them and they haven't done anything. Although depending on the dream itself I like to pretend sometimes that we have done things..then I giggle about it all day long to myself because they don't know what we just did.

Yes I am a sick twisted individual..yet highly entertaining and highly medicated. I'm going bed :) night all. Happy weekend.

2006-09-23T14:36:00.000-07:00

A happy belated to CHERRY!!!

Have a cock(tail) or 3 for me. ;)

I'm too sexy for this blog....

2006-09-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

"Yes, its hard being handsome, but I think I make it look easy"- Cash,7 months.

making my move...

2006-09-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

Possibly quite literally...

My sister wants me to move up and stay with her so I can work full time while she offers to take care of the little one. Shes rich and her husband works..so she doesn't have much to do. Its an interesting proposition..I would still have access to a computer so don't panic my pretties. Still its a big choice..we shall see.

Oh thats just awesome...

2006-09-19T11:33:00.000-07:00

Arrgh matey's!

Today is international talk like a pirate day!

Seriously. Wiki'd it.

Now all I need is an eye patch,wooden leg *how sexy* and a big ass sword. Also looking for a first mate and some booty! (no not that kind of booty, but hey whatever lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things I miss:

Bon jovi circa 83: Dude, if the old BJ saw the new BJ they would kick their metro sissy asses all the way back to Jersey.

Etch a Sketch: I had so much fun with these growing up, mostly because I kept wrecking my slinkys. My kid is so getting one when he's old enough.

The black Micheal Jackson: Before he became a kiddy diddler and when "Thriller" was the coolest thing ever. Thank god they still show it on Halloween.

My innocence: HA just kidding. I know exactly where that went and how many times ago...

M.B- Quit being pissy and just be my friend. I never cared about anything else. Besides we'll always have er..Paris? whatever. :P I miss talking to you.

Penny candies- they were tiny but you could buy a ton because they were only a penny! you can't get anything for a penny anymore. Now its a penny and one penny tax. Stupid govt.

Making delicious cakes-Everyone else eats them and then they will all be fatter than me and I will look svelte by comparison *MWHAHAHAH!* so evil.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cash is doing better today and he slept better last night, he only woke up 3 times and then slept for most of the day. So did mommy, well in between baking, laundry and the like. I'm sleeping on the couch until we get the seperate rooms set up. That way he can't hear me and it doesn't bother him. Its not the most comfortable couch in the world but it will do. Its worth it if he sleeps better anyway.

2006-09-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

Dear pope Benedict leader of the Catholicks. *hey that rhymes tee hee!*

You fucked up bro. Big time. Way to promote peace,love,tollerance and spread "Gods" word. Your name sounds like a breakfast food. Perhaps a switch to Pope Omelette would help.

This is another good example of why I chose to say no to being catholic. Well that and you only got one communion wafer..YOU HAVE A WHOLE BOWL!! Common!!

just need to vent.

2006-09-17T04:03:00.000-07:00

So its 5 am Cash just went back to sleep..for about the 6th or 7th time. He's teething so bad but there isn't much I can do.

The constant crying has gotten to me. I know its not his fault but I'm starting to just have these horrible thoughts. I just want him to stop crying, its just so hard.

ITs pretty bad when your sitting there crying along with your kid.

Its sucks because right now I'm pretty much home alone with him until 3 when my mom gets off work. I'm pretty sure I'm loosing my marbels.

time for another open letter...

2006-09-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

I've been hearing that you've been dealing with some "negative" press lately and I would like to offer some pearls of widom that I have aquired over the years..I know your probably no stranger to pearls of the necklace variety *snicker ahem* so I thought some advice might be helpful.

My mother would always say to me "Always wear a pair of clean underwear in case you get into an accident" Good advice that still rings true. In your case I guess I could shorten it to just "Wear some underwear". We've all seen your pink parts by now and its getting a little old * much like the looks of your pink parts*

"A classy lady always sits with her legs crossed." I could see how the whole one on top of the other thing may be a little much for you to start with, so why don't we just aim for keep them together for a while m'kay?

(By the way Linds, I didn't know you were Brazillian...hmmm...)

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Nobody is buying your "accidental" nipple slip or bad angle upskirt. Why not just leak the sex tape we know you have with that 70's show kid and make some profit? We know you hate Paris but you could learn something from her...bitch should have her own section at Blockbuster.

"Take care of your skin now, it will thank you later"
Your also looking a little rough these days, I know you would rather frolic on the beach with your lastest lover but in 20 years that melanoma isn't going to be so sexy. I'm pretty sure the beach is going to be around for a while so why don't you actually stay indoors and oh, I don't know maybe READ a script. Or at least have someone read the big words for you.

"Say NO to Drugs" Last but not least Li-Lo, Put down the silver spoon already! You already have everything you could possibly want, why let the purple elephant in the big floppy hat tell you any different? I know its hard when your mom is your dealer but maybe you could go into rehab together? Can somebody say mommy-daughter bonding???

Hopefully this will help you back on the path to super stardom.

xoxox.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel better now that I've gotten that off my cheast.

Oh yeah, how lame is this...Most of you regular readers should be familiar with my active dream life by now. It has replaced what was once an active real life. Anywho I usually have the celeb sex dreams to keep me thinking happy thoughts all day right? Wrong! Last night I dreamed about Fiddy as usually and you know what we were doing? TALKING AND CUDDLING! with clothes on!!! Sick isn't it?!

Seriously what is my life comming to that my own brain would rather be PG? I momentarily contemplated that maybe this is part of my maturity, that I am realizing that there is more than just sex and that maybe deep inside I just want a MAN *not a boy that is an important distinction* that I can really talk to and be affectionate with and not have to worry about sexual pressure.....

NAH!!! I'll bet I just woke up too soon and that was all just foreplay or something. Maybe he just needed a break *its a little crazy how I pretend like its real lol* I'm sure things will change.

Speaking of cuddling I hear my baby crying..so I must away.

2006-09-12T14:50:00.000-07:00

Wellity, wellity! Since I've stopped caring about my weight I'm happy to say I've dropped ten pounds. I've been going for walks everyday so I'm not ninja fit yet but its a start. I've also cut way bak on super processed crap. Except for this morning when I had McDonalds for breakfast * but I didn't buy it therefore the calories don't count lol*

My ex *the one who I'm still friends with* picked me up and we got Mickeys for breakfast, which was nice because he is a busy guy and I enjoy hanging with him and I was happy that he missed my company. We also started watching Saw 2 but I had to go and now I have to rent the movie cuz I want to see what happens! Although I suppose its not that important considdering the 3rd one is comming out and I've already read major spoilers..so I have a pretty good idea of what is going to happen.

Things I'm diggin lately:
Peanut Butter Sandwhiches-yummy
Bath Bombs- they fizz in the tub..watch out!
New horror movies comming out!!

ugh..sorry guys..I swear I had a bunch of good stuff to write about..but I think I'm getting another head ache and its too hard to think. Gonna go take a nap.

back to good.

2006-09-11T14:21:00.000-07:00

First off, I would like to just say: 9/11 will never be forgiven..or forgotten.

Feeling much better after a little R&R.

So I watched the Simpsons season premier and the Family guy premier last night. I only half assed watched American Dad because it just doesn't really appeal to me but I needed something to keep me awake until Family guy.

Here is my review for all 3 shows.

Simpsons: Not a bad start *a guest cameo by Metallica* (I'm a fan) but as usual they complicated the plot and attemped to rely on the same stale sterotypes. Typically do gooder Lisa, Mischevious Bart ect. I loved this show but its age is starting to show and is in need of some comedy botox..STAT!

American Dad: Makes fun of Right wing Americans..and how stupid some of them are. ex: "I sent him to "Camp Refoogie" *says extreme republican dad* "Thats not Refoogie, its pronounced REFUGEE" *says slightly smarter hot wife*
hah hah ha...what else is on.

Family Guy: This season premier was slightly disapointing. I don't think I saw Much of Chris or Meg as the focus was largely on Peter, Stewie and to a lesser extent Lois. They pushed the envelope with Peter getting a prostate exam and it turns into somewhat of a mockery of rape. I wasn't that amused. Far better was the Stewie& Lois story line. My fav line, *Lois dreams she tries to kill Stewie and wakes up horrified* "OHMYGOD I'm going to turn into one of those mothers that tries to drown her children and end up brain dead...I'm Barbara Bush!!!!" *PA-ZING!!!*

I've already started doing some Xmas shopping for Cash, I'm actually kinda jealous. Some of the toys he's getting I think he may have to fight me for. I also found a special edition set of play-doh with 50!!! colors. Hells yeah. Also he is getting tons of clothes..its crazy cuz he's just about 7 months and already fitting in 12 month sleepers. He's not fat, just tall! 27*and a half* inches already. I'm a little scared of him too, kid can do push ups..I shit you not.

I want a cigarette. I haven't smoked for quite a long while I'm just really craving one today. I think its part of the healing process for me ...LOL, I know that sounds weird but back before I met my ex *and a while after when things were still good* I smoked. It was part of my personality. I was the sarcastic, cute waitress that called people hun and smoked. I quit when I decided to have my kid and then I started going through all the shit with my ex...and I am now the crabby bitch you all know and love today heheh. But everday I work on leaving all that shit with my exfiance in the past..where it belongs and bringing my old self back. Therefore my old self wants a smoke.

Fuck..sorry I got all self exploring on you guys. Seriously, do you people actually read all that or just skip to the funnyish parts? Its ok if you do. :) And by self exploring I meant introspective..not flicking or anything like that. I don't write about that. But if you do read all that...rock on.

Well I think I have blathered on sufficently for one evening. Remember kids, have fun,play safe,wear a helment.

2006-09-09T17:04:00.000-07:00

So I was feeling really lousy last night because a for the past few days a guy friend of mine was insinuating he had some intrest in me, I found out that it wasn't really intrest but boredom. This has happened with him before and he did apoligize last time to his credit. The fact that the same thing just happend though has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust the sincerity of a compliment from him. I wonder if he really meant the things he said or if it was just fueling a nice fantasy. I don't want to loose him as a friend but I won't be used either.

But as I said I was feeling really hurt and lousy by the whole thing and so today I decided to go out and go shopping and try and remind myself that there are more important things than trying to find love..if it even exsists for someone like me.

I didn't realize how open my eyes would be...I was at home later in today and had just put my son down and wasn't feeling good. Next thing I know I'm sweating and everything just goes black. *I didn't hurt myself I'm well padded* my parents took me to the doc's and it turns out I should be still taking my iron pills. I'm severly anemic and also severly lazy..lol. The iron shortage caused me to get woozy. I also have very low blood pressure.

I'm just in shock about how lucky I am that I wasn't holding my son when it happend. I realize that right now in my life..he is the only thing I have to live for. He is the only male in my life that loves me right now and that I have to love right now. That will never change. I need to be there for him and do everything I can for him.

2006-09-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

I don't have regrets..just curiosities..would somethings been better left undone?

Sometimes I think it would have..for the sake of my self esteem.

So I'm a little pissy today, I went for lunch with a guy I used to "see" ie. he was in another relationship at the time. It was we actually did go out and what not and it was physical but no sex. (This was back when I was younger) Anyway we reconnected a while ago..I thing I wrote a blog about him. He's back in town and divorced..but still living with the ex wife.

Anywho he invited me to lunch, I accepted because you should never turn down a free lunch lol.

Everything was going fine until he started the whole "I'm still really attracted to you and I wish I would have done things different and what might have been.." speech.

FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!

I find it so lovely how I am this "Wonderful, intelligent, attractive woman..but..since I'm already "trapped" in a shitty relationship maybe we can just hook up.

I've had it. I'm sick of being DEMEANED into feeling like a hooker. Those are the kind of women you fuck on the side. They don't care that you have a wife or a girlfriend and that your supposed to be with her. They care about money. I am not one of those women.

I just want a relationship without all the fucking drama..but men seem to eat that shit up with a spoon. Just like the guy I was having lunch with. She was such a bitch to him when they were together and would cry on my shoulder and now he's thinking about going back to her?!! Bitches don't change!! Its like cheaters, they cheated once and you take them back, the only thing they learn is that they can get away with it.

I don't ask for much from a man but I refuse to take this crap.

his first blog.

2006-09-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

. pbk y ,d
cvfgc xvcc/,mk[536f.mmmmmm[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ukkgggc5vcch5ynj b

hey you! Wanna learn something?

2006-09-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

Buddhism - something other than scientology for a change.

www.chernobyl.info/ Lets hope this is never repeated.

Salman Rushdie re: Satanic Verses.
Hunter S. Thompson re:Gonzo journalism
Che Guevara re: guerrilla leader *no this has nothing to do with apes*
Gloria Steinem re: feminist icon

Wikipedia any of those people and learn something about them..in a world where we know everything about Paris Hilton and other "celebrities" is nice to learn something about real people that were just as if not more exciting.

Anoher day in the life of moi!

2006-09-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

Hello my little turtle doves!

I didn't have time to write about my day yesterday, mainly because I was in bed by 8:30! Just a wee bit tired, but I have a little time today to squeeze it in.

My work day started off with me on my knees...No not like that, I was pricing tee shirts in the various cubes for 2 hours. I had to giggle at the irony of being on my knees price checking tee shirts that said "I HEART BJ's!".

I was wearing a very cute *but cheap* thong that had these little ties on the side and the one tie kept comming loose (normally I don't talk about my undies but this is going somewhere..) So after fixing it for about the 10th time I decided, Fuck this, and took it off and shoved it in my purse. I've gone commando before so its not like it was a big issue. I was still pricing the tees at this point and I was bent over while I was doing it, no crack was showing but my low rises were, well rising quite low. A *cute* guy was wandering around looking at the tees and all of a sudden goes "Hey, I'm going commando too!" I was slightly embarrased but I looked and the guy and said " Your thong must have sucked too didn't it?" I ended up explaining my little underwear story and he just laughed..but at least he bought a tee shirt :)

After my lunch break my boss informed me that she had a conference call and I would be left to my own devices in the store. Which was fine by me because it was super slow * All the kids are back in school* and we just got a shit load of Halloween stock so I could rumage through it all and put it wherever I wanted.

Side Note: for those of you that wondered I work at "Spencers Gifts" its a kick ass store.

I was up on my little step ladder fixing the shelving units and whatnot and "Candy shop" by my man fiddy came on *this is actually one of the few songs I like of his* * its got a good beat ok!* Anywho, I hear this song and I have to do a little dance..I can't help it! So I'm gettin a little into it, booty shaking and holding onto the metal shelf pole and working out my inner stripper when my boss comes out of the office and sees me. She totally busted out laughing..shes cool but I was still a tad embarrased. Note to self, keep stripping in privacy of own home.

The rest of the day was quite busy and I must say our Halloween stuff this year looks great. MY only beef is that its kinda shoddy for what you pay. Thank goodness for staff discounts hehe. We don't have in any costumes yet but I'm thinking vampire dominatrix. One things for sure, I will once again be busting out my 4 inch heel calf high, black lace up vinyl boots. Really when besides halloween would I ever wear them?

Curious to know if anyone else has thought about their Halloween attire yet?

long bitchy post..you can skip it if you want...

2006-09-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

Oh geez..

If theres one thing I hate, that really pisses me off, its pity.

Now there is a difference between being sympathetic and sensitive and pittying someone. People can fee bad for a situation or the outcome but don't say you feel sorry for me. It makes me feel weak and like I'm a big loser.

My mom did this to me. I didn't get mad at her though cuz shes my mom and I know she meant well...plus thats why I come here..to bitch lol.

She gave me a hug today *my family hugs a lot, we are dysfunctional but tight anyway* and she goes "Sometimes I just feel so bad for you...." I cringed, because I hate hearing that and I knew something was comming. So I took a deep breath and asked her why. "If you could just meet someone nice... maybe get out and meet some people.." She kinda trailed off there.

Fuck..are you kidding me? I've only been broken up from my exfiance of almost a year for about 7 months. And it wasn't like we just had a big fight and broke up, he cheated on me, took my money, roughed me up while I was pregnant and left me. OH sure I'm just dying to jump back into a relationship!!!!

Yes, I will admit it, I'm fucking lonely. It's bloody hard raising a baby by myself and I miss having someone to be intimate with but I've got so many issues right now that it would hardly be fair to even attempt a relationship. Also I would like to know just how she expects me to meet people in this town. I'm not a bar star and I'm not a church goer. That kinda narrows it down for me. There isn't anything wrong with bars *if thats the kind of people your looking for* and there isn't anything wrong with people who go to church *but I don't really buy into that shit is all* Plus its kinda hard to meet guys that are going to freak out the second I mention I have a kid. I feel like they are going to think that all I want is a baby daddy and money. Really, getting laid isn't an issue anymore either. I can get laid if I really wanted to but whats the point. ITs fucking empty, doesn't change how I feel ect. Its not really good when its in the backseat of a car and theres no cuddling after. I may as well just stay home and do it myself at least I won't care if I fall asleep after.

Plus I have only actually been on one offical "date" in my life and it was horrible!!! He was so pushy and I hate that~ he was trying to hold my hand like 30 mins into the movie we went to. First of all, I don't know you and I don't know where your hands have been. Secondly I like to make the moves first bitch. :P

FLYINGMOTHERCUPCAKES!!! AAARRRRGGGHHH!

You know what I want? Ideally I want someone who I know I can trust *above anything else* someone who makes me laugh, that I can just hang out with in my ratty sweats and drink coffee with or get dressed up with and go to a fancy dinner and still have a good time.Someone that I could breakdown completely infront of and they won't freak out *very rare if this happens* Someone who has a mind of their own and will argue with me *good naturedly, don't be a prick* Someone I can have sex with *a lot* and not have to feel self conscious around * this is a huge deal for me* Someone who has their own life but makes me a part of it and respects that I have my own life too. Someone that I can see myself being with and who wants to be with me and my son...eventually...but there won't be a huge pressure to make it all perfect. Someone who likes to be taken care of and will be there for me when I go to bed at night.

Alright, I think I'm done for the moment. I'm tired as usual so I think I will get while the gettins good.

you can't spell reptile without R.I.P

2006-09-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

Steve Irwin the "Crocodile Hunter" has died at the age of 44.

He was filming a show titled "Worlds most Dangerous Creatures" when he got too close to a giant Stingray, prompting the Stingray to pierce him. Normally they are very painful but not deadly however it entered just under his rib and hit his heart.

I would have always figured he would have been eaten alive by a croc.

Crikey!...

the return of the celeb wet dream...

2006-09-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

Last nights lucky lad was none other than Jason Stratham *see transporter,lock stock and two smoking barrels or Crash which is out soon*

I've never had him before but I would say he was pretty fantastic. I enjoy a bit of a hard body and as you can see by the picture this man delivers. The dream itself was a bit odd though as we on a raft in shark infested waters!! In reality I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be having sex if I were in that kind of situation...then again if I'm out in the middle of the ocean on a raft swirling with sharks and probably going to die anyway, I guess it does seem like the right thing to do.

I was inspired by the latest copy of "Glamour" to do a little Xmas shopping early this year. Actually I should say Xmas "fantasy" shopping. Because all the things I want this year I will probably not get nor will ever be able to afford. But a girl can dream!!!

2006-09-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

My poor boy, his teeth are really bothering him and theres not much you can do besides give some infant tylenol and orajel which numbs the gums for a bit. It must be so painful and he is trying to bite everything and anything *counter pressure* I try my best to sooth him but it gets tough after a while when nothing seems to be helping.

I was holding him and all of a sudden he chomps on my shoulder *erotic when done by lovers,not so much by an angry 6month old* Let me tell you, that shit hurts!!

My mom offered to give him his bottle and settle him down so I could have a break after that. I have a really short fuse and I know he's only a baby and I would NEVER EVER hurt him but I get really pissy. I don't wanna take it out on him so its nice to be able to hand him over to my mom for a bit.

I'm so friggin exhausted, haven't been sleeping well because Cash keeps waking up because of his teeth and when I am sleeping I'm having stupid nightmares. I read somewhere that you can encourage your self to lucid dream, where your half asleep and half awake and you can control your dreams. I should try that. Or maybe I'll just think happy thoughts and see if that works.

What helps you guys settle down when you can't sleep?

I used to drink warm milk but now with the lactose thing I don't think thats a great idea.

Maybe a hot bath.. yeah..I'm off to the tub!

night~*

.

2006-08-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

most of you know by now that in a perfect world I would sleep with 50 in a hot second. The only thing I ask of Mr.50? Don't talk,don't rap,don't open your mouth unless it involves my pleasure in some way.

I just heard a "remake" of Fergie's London Bridge by 50 cent and its basically all about him doing "gansta shit" like drinking, shootin people and comming in a girls mouth. Oh yeah I was really impressed with that.

I think 50 is starting to believe his own hype waaay too much. I know from personal experiance that those who talk about it aren't doing it as much as they say they are *yes I'm talking about myself, its been a dry summer okay!?* All I'm sayin is "Fiddy, we get it, you get lots of punany try rapping about something else... like kittens or something"

Well I'm done..that was great..lol.

In other news, I am going to learn how to knit or crossstich in the very near future. Make fun of me if you like but I want to try and teach myself some usefull things once in a while. I'm also tossing around the idea of going semi-vegetarian again *I went veg for a year when I was younger* I would still eat fish and dairy well lactose free dairy, but give up red meat,chicken/eggs. I'm also planning to try and slooowly cut out artifical sugars. *no more candy :(*

* Hollywood Whores*

Paris hilton : dirty whore
Lindsay Lohan: red headed whore
Jessica Simpson: Singing whore
Samuel Jackson: Mother fucking!!! whore on a plane.
Tom Cruise:Crazy Sci fi whore
Anna Nicole Smith:Rich whore
The Olsen twins: Whore x2

Well I'm done for now... Geez.. I'm a little foul..maybe I'll write a nice post about like, rainbows and stuff. yeah that would be nice. Whatever I know that jesus loves me, he just knows I get a little morally side tracked.

2006-08-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Real quick blog cuz its late and I'm tired cuz I worked my ass of today *don't worry its not gone* plus I was chatting to an excellent friend/kisser. *you know who you are you sexy man pretty beast*

Day was long
shoes hurt feet aching badly
glad its over.

going to bed
sleep perchance to dream happy
wake up lonely

tomorrow new day
looking for brand new shoes
for aching feet.

haiku shit!!! yeah. night all.

crappe poetry.

2006-08-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

* I purposly spelt it crappe because it sounds more artsy..for those of you not in the know*

Now a land of clay and sand once stood fertile grounds
shattered lives lay like shattered homes fragments of what was
so much despair and downfall for a moment of peace
yet time passes and this peace is never sought

Money and power veiled by promises of unity
seeking sovereignty from those already ruled
Fight for your country and die for it
you will be forever remembered
in the war nobody wins.

Don't deny ,don't admit
a glance says what you can't
Lust in a memory, comfort at a thought

Different place and time
would I still have only had you for a night?
don't regret a thing
only wish I had more of you once in a while

7 sins, I've done them all
it didn't take long for me to fall
some I enjoyed and some caused pain
And I know I'll do them all again
I'm pretty sure I'm already damned
so I'm going to do them as fast as I can.

I hope you can't sleep at night
or look in mirrors and like what you see
I hope you feel dirty even when your clean
I hope you live in darkness and never light.

2006-08-28T08:27:00.000-07:00

Tommorrow my baby is getting his shots again and once again I am filled with the same sense of guilt I get everytime he is due to get them.

I know they are a good thing in the long run but I feel so freaking bad! I can't explain to him why he has to get all those needles and I know that is one of the primary reasons they give them this young. So they don't remember, however try listening to your kid cry in pain and not feel bad about it. Sucks big time.

List of things to do for today:

1) Laundry... that means braving the monster under my bed to retrieve all my socks.
also I have to clean out my drawers so that I have less to move upstairs.
2) Do nails,shave stems ect. Things I have been putting off because I've had nobody to impress. ITs time to start impressing myself. I like silky smooth legs and have them I shall.
3) Feed,change,entertain small drooling infant that is my better. Really, I seriously believe he is smarter than me.
4) Cook something, clean something.
5) Finish reading my maxim.

Got any ideas of things I should do today? leave yours suggestions...:P

2006-08-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

I have returned!!!

I'm back in my own little corner of the universe and I must say... I am ready to go again lol!

It was really nice visiting my sister and her husband in law. They live in a small *rich* town outside a city a couple hours from here. She's so lucky! Their house is huge and basically perfect..soooo jealous. Her husband is a rig pig so he rakes in good coin basically she doesn't have to work and spends her time shopping. Bitch. (jk!) She actually really cool, bought my kid a whole crap load of toys and actually looked after him for a whole day while I went shopping.

I managed to convince my parents that we HAD to go to West Edmonton mall for the day (for those of you not in the know its a huge Mofo of a mall, its got its own China town for heaven's sake!) so we went up there for a day and it was awesome. Sadly though I was limited to what I could afford so I did a lot of window shopping and I'm pretty sure there where moments where I wept a little because I wanted things so badly!

I will say this though... If the BITCH at TOMMY HILFIGER is reading this...by some weird cosmic chance.. The next time you fucking eyeball me without even saying hello when I come into your store..your going to end up reading braile. I'm sorry but I hate it when you walk into an "classy" store and "Unless your like,totally like flashing like your luis vitton purse with like your 300$ jeans they like won't even like look at you!"
I'm not against people with money but how do they know I wasn't ready to whip out my credit card and drop ridiculous amounts of money? Which by the way I choose to do at Old Navy and MAC instead. I might not ever be rich but if I am I'm never going to treat people like garbage. I know what its like to live poor..*thats another blog* so I value what I have.

On a lighter note I must brag about a place in the food court that I am absolutly enamoured (is that a word?) (I think it is, whatever I'm not fucking Webster) with. Its a crepe place! They make sweet&savory crepe sandwiches. I thought that was the mf bomb! They didn't have a menu either, it was all of their "crepetions" but shellacked and displayed. A very creative idea I thought. So I choose the chicken teriayki crepe and it was delicious, bordering on orgasmic but I haven't been laid in a while so I don't know if it was really THAT good. Damn close though.

Also on my magic carpet ride throughout the mall I saw flamingos for the first time, penguins and sealions. ( I have actually had the pleasure of encountering a wild sealion when I was younger out in the ocean but it was still neat to see them)
I also just stood in the Swarvoski crystal store for a while and try not to touch anything or say "I want that" more than 50 times in a row. I also did the same at Birks and a few half dozen other jewlery stores. I also did it at Ben & Jerrys. *Damn my lactose interolenance*

I could go on and on about my marvels..and I probably will but I am still recouping so I think this will do

2006-08-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

Its been a week since I've left you with any pile of hot steaming blog so I figured I had better crank one out.

The week was uneventfull although I did work Wed& Fri and I would have to say my sole purpose at the moment is tormenting the little punk teenagers. I especially like the ones that try to shop lift because then I really get to screw with them.

Typical scenario: Little punk tries to conceal 20$ necklace in his hoodie pocket. Doesn't realize I have been coyly watching him for last 15 minutes as he decided which one he liked better *studded dagger as opposed to spiked skull..choices choices* Upon settling on the spiked skull he slips the necklace in his pocket and makes his way towards the exit. I slide up beside him "Is there anything else I can help you take today?" Punk stops momentarily and stutters looking nervous. "What?" he tries to ask innocently. "WEll" I begin.."Since you seem to have no trouble pocketing smaller items I thought maybe you'd like a hand with something bigger, would you like me to hand you a fog machine on your way out or are you good with just the necklace?" At this point he knows I know. Obviously.

He returns my necklace and makes a hasty retreat from the store. Fortunatly for me he is a mall rat and it doesn't take much before security finds him hiding out in the arcade and he is then taken to the proper authorities.

I love my job.

Next week I shall not be posting from Weds to Fri because I shall be away. Going to visit family which should provide me with a few days of needed vacation. I would rather go to Vegas or something but hey, take what you can get right?

2006-08-12T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ugh! I'm so done with carrying about my damn weight!!

I've realized I'm becomming too obsessed with it and its unhealthy. Like really I had a baby six months ago and I'm supposed to look all slim and perfect? Screw it. I'm tired of comparing myself to other young women that I see with kids.

These other women have time to go to the gym and work out, they have husbands and fiances that can watch the rug rats while they take a "sanity" break. I go out for walks with my kid when the weathers nice, I don't have time to do my pilates or whatever the trendy exercise is right now. I still do want to take the strippercize class but I doubt I will unless I can convince my parents to look after Cash while I go. They are busy too though and I don't want to impose. Also I don't think I have the groove to strippercize LOL. I'm such a klutz I would probably be workin the pole and fall on my face or something. That would look sooo cool.

Moving on... I was having incredibly weird dreams last night.

All I remember was that I had a bright yellow scorpion in my mouth and I had to pull it out and it had its claws *I don't think they even have claws do they?* in my tounge. It was so gross. I got the little bastard out though. The other dream was that I was shopping in this huge Costco type bulk store but it was all shelves of like, dollar store shit.

Also I had a dream that I had to call my ex bf *the one I still sorta talk to* and ask him for a ride somewhere and his gf answered the phone and was being a complete bitch to me and I could hear him yelling at her in the backround but he told me that he still couldn't come pick me up. I was sooo pissed off. LOL kinda sounds like real life, he can't stand her but he won't stand up to her. So yours truely ends up getting the shaft. No, not that kind of shaft kids...that would make me happy and I'm not that happy.

I finally got a new hair straightener which I am thrilled about because my thick curly hair is driving me nuts. I laughed my ass off when the waring on the instructions said something to the effect of "not to be used on synthetic hair, animal hair, pubic hair..*WHAT!!!???* I would like to meet the person who used a flat iron on thier pubic hair thinking it was a good idea. Also how freaking long would your pubic hair have to be for you to think you could straighten it.. Guh-rose!! I don't know about anyone else but there isn't enough tea in china that someone could give me to put a burning hot instrument near my pink parts. A razor is scary enough let me tell you.

Well I think thats enough thearpy inducement for one day kids.

2006-08-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

Its all good today.

I've managed to figure out some shit..and i'm not sure but I think I've had one of those ephipany type dealies.

So today was awseome, I got up and did all my baby stuff,laundry, went grocery shopping *while my mom's at work* bought my kid the coolest activity center and some clothes for him with my work paycheck. This was all before noon lol.

I also baked some chocolate chip oatmeal cookies *yeah I'm a little into the domestic stuff* Now I'm going to figure out how to put the activity center together. Also I'm going to look up a few web pages. I was reading in my local paper that theres a lady out in a neighboring town that teaches "strippercize" Its a pole danceing class and I thought it sounded kinda fun so I'm going to see how much it costs and that kind of thing.

Yup thats me, a mom that bakes cookies and plays peeka boo and then has purple hair and does strip classes LOL. Hey like it or quit reading bitches : )

Life is good now.., shit happens, shit changes but life is good.

2006-08-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

I was going to come on and call some people out that i thought were "friends" *feels like they only want to be friends when they want something from me* But I'm not going to. Its not worth it. I've had some of my real friends let me know how much they care about me in the last little while and they are the ones that are important. They were there for me when I've felt like absolute shit, which is quite often lately..I think its late PPD or it was there all along but I just kept ignoring it.

All the other people that act like they care *when they are bored and have nothing better to do or no one better to fuck*

Well, go into a corner and have sex with yourselves. If You think this may apply to you, then it may. It also may not but you obviously have a guilty conscience. What else have you been doing? :P Ask me if ya really wanna know.

Night night night

2006-08-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

Really makes you think:

In the U.S it takes longer to get the emergency contraceptive pill than it does to get a gun.

Its easier to get a boob job than a restraning order.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Does Lebanon realize the only country kicking its ass is its own? I mean yeah, Isreal is but only because of Hezbollah. If they would have just given back Isreal its prisioners they would have been like "Okay see ya later" but no, if they wanna play Isreal is all "Its on like Donkey Kong!" I'm sick of hearing Lebanon cry about innocent women and children and all that garbage. Your terrorist groups can kill whoever they want but as soon as you get your asses whopped on by another country you all of a sudden care about innocent people?

Fuck Hezbolla and terriorists. You know whos fault this is don't you?? Mel Gibsons. *sorry, I had to go there*

I miss the 80's.. sure there was wars then too I bet, but it was just a good time for me. I was little, we had the best cartoons, the best music, movies and it was a generation that didn't take itself so seriously except when it needed to *I love you Band-aid* and back then people actually gave a shit. Cartoons were about sharing and caring and fighting for what was good and pure *see transformers,thundercats,rainbowbright,gem,ninja turtles,G.I Joe..ect. Not just some non sensical drivel about little magic creatures that live in some kids balls * yeah its called your picachu? Right whatever*

As for movies, One can cite "Who framed Roger Rabbit" as sheer brilliance. Marrying Cartoons and live action was bitchin. Now its all computer animation and a bunch of over paid actors and actresses that read from a script. They don't even have to look good! They probably go in, sit there in their gucci sweat pants, face covered in Pro active *or whatever they are getting paid millions to shill for* read their lines and walk out with a big fat check! Bring back the Muppet movies!!!! What happened to the lovers and the dreamers? I remember when Simpsons was the WORST show on t.v. now parents are happy if thats all their kids are watching. If they even know were their kids are...

fuck man... I've said it before and I'll say it again..Mel :P

It really is a soap opera...and my life.

2006-08-02T20:13:00.000-07:00

I was a little more amped up than usual today and I just had that feeling it was gonna be a fucked up day. Not bad fucked up just, weird. The kind where you wake up and say "Today is going to be a fucked up sort of day" and then you realize you said it out loud and everyone is staring at you.

I get to work and its around 1130 its pretty mundane and then all of a sudden I see a familiar face. Here is some backround before I get into todays tale. Try to keep up :)

A few years ago when I was young and foolish and living on my own *I was about 19, seems like forever ago but I digress* I met a guy *call him JR* through my best friends boyfriend at the time. He was a few years older than me and had a VERY bitchy fiance a year younger than me. He was gorgeous but I wasn't really paying attention to him since I took a liking to his fiance's younger brother *16, eww I know! that so cougar!* We ended up dating briefly but I was still a virgin (fuck off I was saving it for someone special ok!) so I didn't want anything sexual and he dumped me.

Well JR and I became friends and his fiance got all pissy because she thought there was something more sinister going on, which at the time there wasn't and it was totally innocent. At the time at least...I don't remember how it happend exactly, I would like to say I was naive and it was all his fault..but seriously I know you guys are smarter than that ;) So we started having a little thing. I was adamant about not having sex but thats not to say we didn't fool around and do other things...Alot of times though we just hung out and cuddled and talked. It took me a while but I finally wised up and realized that I was getting a raw deal and called JR on that fact. I was the other woman and I didn't want to be, so I got angry and said that if he was just with me for the sexual aspects then we should just go ahead and have sex. He wouldn't do it and I pushed him to know why. He dropped the bomb that he was in love with me and yet he was stuck where he was for the time being and that I deserved more. I told him he couldn't have it both ways so he left. That was the last of him I saw.

Until today that is.

He wandered in to my store and there he was. Still as incredibly hot as ever but there was one thing missing, his ball and chain! I decided to take a chance and say hello and we started talking. I filled him in on the baby and my ex, turns out back when JR was younger he did some short jail time with my ex LOL it is waaaay too small of a world. JR felt bad for me because he said that even back then my ex was a bit of a wing nut. What can I say, I love the ones that can hurt me the most. However unlike my ex JR has totally gotten his shit together and hasn't been in trouble with the law for almost 10 yrs. Not even a speeding ticket. Plus he has a house, car and good job. Also he is divorced from that heinous bitch :) That made me do a happy dance inside.

He bought a tee-shirt we chatted for a minute more and then he left. Then about 5 minutes later he came back to which I thank Van Wilder for the following line at my disposal "Are you stalking me now? Cuz that would be great" He smiled and told me he had "mistakenly" got an 2x large teeshirt and needed to exchange it. Seriously who doesn't check the size when they buy something, and not notice its that fucking huge. That was smooth.

I took the liberty of taking my break and inviting him to join me. We sat and talked for another half and hour and talking quickly turned into a little *or a lot* of flirting. I made sure he knew what days I worked and then headed back.

In conclusion I'm pretty excited to see if something happens but I'm going to be treading extremely carefully this time around. I don't think I would ever want a relationship from him *after all he cheated on his fiance* but well...woman has needs,Man has skills..Good times had by all. We shall see.

Also adding to this fucked up day, another guy I had a little thing with a while back wandered in. I hadn't seen him in a long while either. He also had a gf at the time we sorta hooked up. It was just kissing and this time I actually shut him down. It was an impulsive make out thing but then he got all clingy and wanted to dump his gf and be with me and I was like hmm...no thank you. I know I sound really evil but I'm not I swear!

I 've never cheated while I've been dating someone and having been cheated on I know that it sucks, but if a guy is with me behind his gf's back... he's the one that'g got to deal with her when she finds out not me. Plus I think back in the day I used to prefer guys that had girlfriends because I was commitment phobic..I'm starting to think I should have stayed that way :P

The only problem is that the guys always seemed to end up falling in love with me or I'm unforgetable or something because they always tell me how amazing I was and how they still wonder about me and how stuff could have been. Or that they would still like to find out...which is what JR said to me today. Seriously why me? lol Either I'm so damn yummy that I stay in their little horny brains for a long time or I screw with them so much that they can't forget me!!!

Only time will tell. Hope at least one person makes it through this post lol :P apologies for the length.

GRRRR!

2006-08-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Okay seriously, I love my bro but he's so lazy when he's home. He's a well tester and works for month long streches and does 12 hour days but when he's home he's a total bum.

He has to do ALL of his laundry *they do have a washer and dryer out there* and he sleeps all day and then is up making noise at night!!!!

I'm sorry but I fricken live here with a baby that I have to take care of..meaning I have tons of laundry to do and he's SLEEPING at night.

My brother doesn't have to be doing the job he's doing either, he could be making a buttload at a company here in town but he doesn't want to be "local" so don't cry about working then!

ARGGHH!!!!......needed to vent!!!

Plus my kid is being kind of a shit head today. I don't really mean that, he's just being a bit moody. Screaming and carrying on and doesn't want to be put down but doesn't want to be held either.

Momma needs a coffee and a smoke..but since I don't really smoke I guess the coffee will have to do.

2006-08-01T09:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry about lack of posts.. Super busy!

I've been fiddling around with my new Ipod thingy and doing a lot of cooking..and baby stuff!!! So I'm usually exhausted by the time I get a chance to use the computer at night.

i'll try to post more in the upcomming days.. xoxo moi!

2006-07-29T19:47:00.000-07:00

How come girls and girl related products smell so nice?

Well Dave I'm glad you asked! You see, when a teenager enters puberty you start to develop things like body odor and...

Okay clearly this is not the answer you were really looking for.

Honestly its 60% clever,clever marketing and 40% girls just like to smell nice. Yeah I know theres a lot of it to do with hormones and olifactory gland thingies and primal attraction. For instantce, smelling attractive makes you seem more attractive..like beer googles..only in your nose. Plus it makes the individual feel better too *ohhh I just loooove strawberries, I wish I could smell like one too!!*

Its one of my favorite parts of being a girl, getting to try all the good smelling lip,hair,body ect.. stuff that they have out now. Mind you its not just a girls market anymore..theres a shwack of stuff out there for men now. Body scrubs,washes,colonges are becomming staples in male showers *thanks to those "meterosexual" guys* I prefer men that aren't high matience but smelling nice is always good. I said smelling, not bathing in colonge...there is a distinction.

I could really go on about this but I'm a little tired. So I don't think I'll really explore it that much further. I've been told that I smell nice and thats good enough for me.

Now I just have to find someone to get over here, lean in and..smell the roses..heheh :)

2006-07-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've got so much on my mind when really I would just like to throw out my brain and use my skull as a punch bowl. I don't know why, I just think it would be kinda cool "Punch anyone? Its grape!" Er..yeah.

Seriously though I'm so frustrated right now because I feel like I'm at a stand still with some things and they really aren't all my issues but at the same time I feel compelled to care about them. I think its because some people figure I'm persuasive and I have a way of making things how they are supposed to be. Only problem is I know what things are and aren't beyond my control and I know how me doing my thing will affect it one way or the other. Its hard to lay low and wait but its all part of the hunt.

On the lighter side, I did get a new lipstick today :) Its about the same shade as this font and it smells like raspberry juice crystals. I was also reading a very humorous and cool book at Superstore something like A Cougars guide to life... It was actually full of some good advice for women in general, not just cougars. I'm not gonna post any of it though, can't have the men wise to our game can we ladies? ;)

Anyways, I'm tired and I need my sleep. I busted out my satin jammies (Soooo comfy) so hi ho hi ho its off to bed I go!

2006-07-25T07:09:00.000-07:00

My ex fiance has contacted me again. Seriously I don't know what he wants me to do. Theres so much I want to say that I feel like I should have the chance to get out but then part of me doesn't even care anymore. I don't love him and I sure as hell don't want to be with him but I feel like he should know that I'm still surviving and so is his son and we are doing fine.

Fuck Fuck Fuck...I did not need this shit.

2006-07-24T17:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings from my little corner of the world.

So I was feeling alright today until I had a seafood salad for lunch.. and yeah last hour or so..not so good. I'm starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

I got a little depressed last night and I was kinda upset..okay I cried for like one minute..but as I usually do I stopped because crying is for sissys. Seriously, I know a lot of people disagree but I see crying as a sign of weakness in myself. I don't like when other people cry either. Don't get me wrong I'm not a jerk about it, I think I'm rather protective and sensitive when my friends cry but it makes me feel weird anyway.
I suppose i'm just feeling sorry for myself because I get lonely on occasion and I wish I had someone to share things with and *do things* with but on the other hand I'm so not even thinking about a serious relationship. So I've kinda worked myself into a nice little corner.

Meh! Fuck it, what can ya do right??

oh..I thinks I hear a little squack box..

2006-07-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

Celebrity news for July 22/06

Still haven't seen Tom Cruises kid yet, this could be the biggest thing since Rosewell...Hmm there are too many parallels to count on that one.

Sources say that Tori Spelling *see famous dead father* is expecting. Hurry and have that baby while its still trendy Tor...

Paris *walking STI* Hilton has delayed her album release yet again, Paris honey, why delay the inevitable? We all know its gonna suck its not like its going apperciate in value the longer it sits.

David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff wants to create a musical based on his life, it will also contain bits about his Nightrider and Baywatch days. Somebody please shoot this guy already. There's funny and then there's just sad. I haven't seen a hass *snicker* been look this bad since...well ever. I think that all the washed up celebs should just do a massive concert and then commit a group koolaid hari kari together. *cher would be down for it, I know she would!*

Thats the celeb news.

NO WAY!!!

2006-07-21T20:03:00.000-07:00

I realize in most cases that the valley girl exclaimation that I used above is usually a tad dramatic..but I think it applys to my story, plus I am a little about the drama..if you haven't picked up on that by now ;) *who me?* yeah,yeah but it keeps life exciting no?

Anyway, I was at LaSenza looking for a new bra today because its one of the few places that I can actually find the size I'm looking for and it won't look like a granny bra. I selected a few cute choices to take with me to the dressing room and got busy finding the best fit.

The dressing rooms at LaSenza are open at the top and I usually don't worry because there aren't usually that many tall enough people to really be peeping. Minor detail, there is an exit sign right outside the door to the change room I'm in.

Well turns out that the light in the exit sign happens to be burnt out and at the particular moment I happen to be shirtless...and braless I hear some guys saying "That light there?" and one of the store bimbos going "Yup" and I hear the sound of a ladder being erected. before I know it I've got my one arm across my chest trying to cover it and the other hand trying to find my shirt! Suddenly the guy on the ladder figures out that you can infact see into the dressing rooms *he was really hot too!!* and kinda goes "OH shit!" turns away and goes back down. I get dressed and momentarily debate if I should come out or just wait and pray they all go away. I sucked it up and came out. Mainly because I can't stand in the dressing room all day and it could have been worse I suppose, I wasn't completely naked. Plus I have it on good authority that its not a breast unless you see the nipple anyway LOL.

Also, he was hot....I know I mentioned that already but really, if a complete stranger is going to see me in a state of undress, it helps that he's cute.

So I came out and both of the workers are both just kinda standing there and I think he looked more embarassed than I was and just kinda gave me a little "sorry" kinda look. I just smiled and went and bought my bra and politely told the bimbo that they might want to wait until they are done fixing the sign before putting anymore people in the change room. I think she figured it out.

2006-07-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

jealousy is such an ugly thing, not that I care because I'm still getting what I want.

NOT FOR CHILDREN!!!

2006-07-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

Well, if any of you hate Anna Nicole Smith as much as I do but love the fact that the crazy bimbo is so entertaining..try this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=slutty+smurf&v=Z1KfDFfckc4

It sullys everything good and pure about the smurfs too!!!

It is extremly funny but also very crass so if your not into that kind of thing..ya might not wanna watch okie?

2006-07-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was debating not writing my blog anymore.. The reason I started this blog was because I was an anonymous person writing about the intimate details of my life. It was mostly for me,to see my thoughts and feelings in print. It was a way for me to sit and get it all out and then disect it and break it down and make sense of the whole sorrid mess that at some times was my life.

In the past I was the type of person that was an open book. I wasn't an emotional mess but if you wanted to know how I was feeling you usually didn't have to ask. I didn't have many secrets and I didn't think that writing about my life was all that interesting to anyone but myself. So I plodded along writing about what it was like being a single carefree chick. I wrote about the guy(s) *hehe* I was seeing/sleeping with, the drama of them, my work and my friends. It read a lot like a sex and the city type thing.

People however, have this funny way of changing and evolving. I don't want to say "growing up" because I'm not sure if I was ever a normal child or if I will ever grow up into being a normal adult. Anyways, My life became a lot more personal and I realized that my relationships were becomming a lot more intimate. Not just sexually but emotionally. Sometimes those things are the hardest to write about.

Also over the years I have learned some very,very hard lessons about the price of intimacy. I have had to change my perspectives and therefore my writing.

I no longer see my life as an open book but as a poker game. I guess the old addage of "keeping your cards close to your vest" is what I try to go by. Sometimes I still go all in, others I fold and sometimes I bluff just to see where it will get me. You never want to give up everything.

I have secrets about my relationships with certain people that I don't think will ever come past my lips. Maybe someday when I meet the person I am destined to be with, if that day ever comes..I will lay down all my cards and just go for broke. I only hope that they would stay in the game after learning about the hands I've been dealt and the ones I've played.

SO, if you've managed to read this far you are probably wondering "What about the blog then?"

I think I may continue it but I don't think I will be writing much about my personal life. I will continue to write about my kid, things I think are funny,bitch about news..or whatever I might be bitching about...ect. As far as who I'm screwing *or not screwing for that matter* who I love or don't love or any of that stuff..well I think thats done for a while. Although I will probably continue to write about my sexy dream encounters about me and my celebrity bitches :) don't worry I'll try and spare the graphic details....

If you all wanna keep reading thats cool, I like reading a lot of the people's blogs who read mine. Mostly because they have far more interesting lives lol :P I also do value the nice comments and I have been really happy that I have managed to make connections through this blog to people that I consider my friends.

There it is everyone. The blog shall live on..for now ;)

inncommunicado.

2006-07-17T20:08:00.000-07:00

I feel really uncomfortable trying to convey any of my inner workings at the moment. Maybe not uncomfortable so much as reluctant as I can't understand what purpose it would serve or has ever served, aside from my own self indulgence.

I guess I shouldn't have bothered to do my hair tonight, cuz you can't just put a coat of paint on an old piece of junk and sell it as new.

If your not sorry then don't say you are. you said you didn't care anyway so if its not breaking your heart, why should it be breaking mine? Would it make a difference if I chose to cry about it? if you want the honest truth I usually do. That isn't said to illicit pity either. I just cry.

Sure I love you but if you don't love me back or you can't or its not the way you "think" I want then its irrelevant isn't it? I can make my peace with that.

I don't have the energy to hold things against people. I might be a bitch but I'm a free bitch. I think my hair looks pretty after all.

I think my blogging is just getting bizzare because its more censored than an fcc convention. If you want the dirt...just go a head and ask me.

if anyone wants to email me and doesn't have my address let me know and I'll send it. otherwise, you've been a wonderful audience and I'm glad to have brought the children so much joy.

Kris does the news...and the news enjoyed it.

2006-07-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend in the news our cool guy of the week award goes to Mr.T

It has been reported Mr.T has been said to have "shed" the gold chains that have long been apart of his image. T decided that after having witnessed the destruction of hurricane Katrina and spending time with victims in the big easy that it would be disrespectful to his God to showcase his wealth while being around people who had lost so much.

Everyone say it with me now...AWWW!!! You sir really do belong on the "A team!"

Moving on to the "Who gives a Fuck?!" catagory I am sad to say that following reports of more bombings in foreign countries and the importance of the G8 summit which is currently going on in Russia, the 3rd most important headline of the day is the weekend wedding of Avril Lavinge and Derrik Whibley. WTF? Excuse me but why the hell is this making national news? Ohh right because they are Canadian. No mind to the fact that they didn't even get hitched in Canada... yeah thats fantastic. There was more detail about their nuptuals than the current war situation in the East. I guess they want to report about the wedding now because they know the war is still going to be going in six months.

I hear that they were still debating on where to spend the honeymoon and Avril had her sights set on Paris, Whibley declined stating that including him everyone has already "done" Paris ;) * the Sum 41 frontman dated the bicycle heiress before he hooked up with Lavinge.*

Our last item of the day is the weather: "Today looks warm and sunny with a possible chance of rain but probably not". "Its most likely going to be warm with temperatures in the high 20's possibly even 30's but you never really know." "Mother nature is funny that way isn't she folks?" So remember, wear sunscreen and a hat but bring a jacket just in case and if it does rain please remember we just report the weather we don't make it!" "Have a nice weekend everyone!"

2006-07-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Happy 200th post to me. Of course this is the 200th post of the new blog..the old blog was written eons ago and I would probably have around 5oo posts had I kept all of them.

I'm in a mood... A little stressed out, my boy was having trouble getting settled for bed and decided to scream and scream for about 15 minutes before passing out. I get really agitated when he does that because I feel like its my fault he's doing it and I just want to make it stop. He's totally okay now but I'm still edgy. Plus I know I have to work tomorrow which shouldn't stress me because I actually like my job but I'm just like that sometimes.

A big nutjob....

There are other things I'm totally tweaked about but there is nothing I can do about them and so I absolutely refuse to give them anymore serious thought.

I'm also going to write some more crappy poetry. Cuz I can. I guess its not really poetry..just free flowing brain stuff lol.

There was a moment last night
that I wished for the comfort of your lips
on my skin the feeling of your finger tips
I longed to break down just a little and let it out

I can't let go, not now
you can't affect me this way
I won't whisper what I'm dying to say.

There is more to passions fire
than just a physical fuel
my feelings I can't share with you
silence is a such golden rule.

God I wish I could say it
I wish I could make it matter now
If I could figure out a way
to do that somehow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to: D.

Sometimes I feel as though
I sleep in dirt
constantly fighting off
too many kinds of hurt.

A pillow stained with too many tears
a heart thats hardened
broken by far too many years

Screams claw at my lips
trying to escape
I'd bite off my tounge
just to stop them for a day

I hate you deeply
more than you could understand
A wolf in sheeps clothing
a coward parading as a man

please don't ever come back
I can't bear to see your face
The void of you has been filled
with cement taking your place

I'm not going to hurt myself
to try and bleed your pain
I'm done with loosing out
I've only strength to gain.

2006-07-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

I was having really messed up dreams last night and decided to look them up in my online dream dictionary today and it was very interesting. Basically it said that I am curious and full of passion and I should follow my intuition and desires. Wow..now to just get everyone else to play along LOL!!

Actually I don't know its probably better I'm at home right now..I have to work tommorrow and if I went out tonight I would be way too tempted to get a little wreckless. Best to wait until I don't have to get up so early :)

well hope everyone has a good weekend! If your going out..have one for me! *drink,guy whatever...lol*

2006-07-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

Things are going all right I suppose..haven't blogged much because not much has really happened lol.

Uninspired. Very.

Cash's teeth are becomming more visable on the bottom and they don't seem to be bothering him now that they are through the skin. Although he is drooling buckets!!!

I found out that a good friend of mine is engaged which is so awesome. He is one of those genuinly good people that you almost want to hate cuz they are so damn sweet, but you can't cuz they are so damn sweet lol~ anyway I'm thrilled for him and I should get a hold of him soon to pass on the well wishes.

Its windier than heck here today...I'm pretty sure I saw a cow fly by :P

See..nothing really exciting. Not that I can write about anyway ;)

Einstein was a whore!

2006-07-10T19:26:00.000-07:00

I saw a head line on www.msn.com that letters were found detailing times that the 'Stine spent with up to six different women..while he was married!!!

Working late trying to figure out relativity or was it ANATOMY!!

Mind you this was during the duration of his second marrige..to his cousin!!!! oh yeah, I'm dead serious.

Icky,icky....ICKY!

2006-07-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

Hosted by Sparkle Tags

2006-07-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

Another exhausting day finished. Baby had another really good day. I made marinated pork shish ka bobs for supper and they were awesome.

But I'm tired as all get out and I'm starting to get wound up.. I have an anxiety/panic issues *thanks genetics!!!* and if I get over tired I'm just going to get all stressed and bitchy tomorrow. I kinda still wish I had my atavans *strong relaxy sleepy pills* but if I have to wake up suddenly for my kid..yeah I'd be screwed.

Anywho..night night. sleep tight, yada yada yada ;)

pretty sure I should be medicated but...

2006-07-07T20:33:00.000-07:00

Ya ever have one of those sex dreams about a famous person and then the next day you see a picture of them and you go "Hey how you doing? Don't act like you don't remember last night *big grin* Yeeeah you know you do."

Alright..so, just me then?

7 deadly sins and a little complaining throw in.

2006-07-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

This is gonna be a long, long post...long. you were warned.

First of all I would like to address the fact that my basement stinks. I have repeatedly asked my parents to light a damn candle or something but they don't seem to take the hint. I think I'm going to just go around and fabreeze everything. I like basements and all but I like my space to smell nice. Is it too much to ask to put out a dish of some fucking potpourri?

Second of all when the hell did my social life just wither up and die? Yes I am a mom and yes I still have somewhat of a life, I work,shop,go for coffee,cook ect. But nobody goes out anymore. Most of my friends work later nights or I work on the days they have off which really sucks. I need to get out..not just go to Walmart for an hour either. I would love to actually do myself up a bit and maybe see a movie..in a theater *gasp!* or go to dinner in a restaurant that doesn't ask "Would you like to supersize that?" I don't need to have intelligent conversation, witty banter or a burping contest I just want to get away from my family for a few hours and not have to be stressing about a poopy diaper or a feeding.

But that would have to involve me knowing people that might be available to go out to said places. Also having money is an issue mostly because I don't have any lol.

My other issue is that I am feeling muy *that's very* unattractive lately. Its going to sound silly but I think its because I'm under a different kind of stress. When I was with my ex the weight practically fell off *even when I was preg which is not good* but now that he's not in my life at the moment I've packed it back on. I think its because eating is how I deal with having my son 24/7. Its about the only thing I have any control over anymore. Eating the one thing that specifically belongs to me. I don't have to think about anyone or anything else when I eat.

*Sigh* I am guilty of the sin of Gluttony. Oh and lust. Which goes back in a round about way to not feeling sexy. I mean Is it horny in here or is it just me? If anyone else has the following problem I would like to know but it seems like every now and then I am inexplicably randy. I mean I wouldn't go out and throw it at the first guy who offered but I definitely would make it worth someone's while.

I suppose its even harder to deal with because I don't have a lot of "alone" time if you catch my drift. If you don't than your obviously lying to yourself about the fact that you have rubbed one out. But yeah the only time I get to myself is when I'm sleeping *not really cuz the kid sleeps in my room* so its in the bathtub. The sad thing is, its become a basic function rather than any kind of pleasure. To be honest I would rather just have a shot of tequila and call it a day.

Hmm sounds like I'm also guilty of wrath too. Sometimes I get so frustrated *not always like that* but just twisted over stuff that I just want to punch someone's face in. Could I? uhmm probably not. Mostly cuz I'm weak like a kitten but because I couldn't really justify walking up to someone and punching them in the face. ( not without a proper introduction at least).

Well since I'm on a roll I might as well continue on to Envy. I envy the people that still have their freedom. Going back to the wrath for a moment I hate when they complain about it "Ohh I'm so busy and I have no time to do what I want anymore" but yet they still go to movies and go to the bars and can party till 3 am if they want to. Its like "You know what man? Suck it the fuck up" Yeah I know that there are people out there that have it waaay worse than I do. I'm very fortunate to have my parents helping out with my kid but some people don't know when to count their blessings. I was talkin to a friend of mine from Sask the other day and her son goes back and forth between her and the father so that they can have every couple other weeks off. I don't have that option. So don't whine to me that its your "week" to look after your kid and your missing a great party. Fuck the fuck off.

Okay that puts me at: Wrath,envy,gluttony,lust..what else am I missing.. oh yeah, pride,sloth and greed.

Pride? LOL I have none. Absolutely none. actually thats a lie..wow I'm doing so good at this :P I guess being overly proud of my son could be a sin.. nah..he really is the smartest coolest kid in the world, no make that universe. See what I mean?

Greed, I think when applying to me it ties in with lust. I like having my way with men I fancy and I like having it often. I suppose thats very greedy and while usually warmly receipted in most cases ultimately destructive. I won't get into how. I had a boyfriend once who knowing that sex had been on my mind ALL day tried to be funny and refuse me. Needless to say I got laid that night and he learned never to cross me again. Yeah I realize that he still got sex out of the deal and he may never admit it but I think he was surprised to find out that women can be just as aggressive about getting what they want as men can.

Lastly..sloth. This really is one of the only sins I can say that I don't honestly do a lot of. When you have a little person dependent on your for its survival..well you can kiss goodbye sleeping in and being unproductive. Although sometimes my son and I like to lay on the floor together and watch t.v. He likes Simpsons so that usually makes for some good quality time.

There you have it. Another completely self indulgent post for you all to read. Enjoy Bitches! :)

2006-07-04T19:48:00.000-07:00

Its offical!!! My son is reaching a very important milestone in his life!

I can see the tops of his two bottom teeth emerging from his gums. I'm so proud yet..miserable LOL! Teething for those of you not in the baby "know" is a real bitch! Think about how you would feel now if teeth decided to cut through your gums and take up residence. Yeah not so pleasant. To add insult to injury he had to get his second round of vaccinations today. He only cried for about 30 seconds but they do make him feel a little crappish, thank goodness for infant tylenol. *White grape flavored not Cherry* *the red dyes seem to upset little tummies*

I love that word..tummy :) I still say it. I'm such a loser lol!

Anyway I have to work tomorrow :( 10:30 to 6:00 *its gonna feel like forever!* So I'm going to bed now just in case he has a bad night.

2006-07-04T17:09:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIKI!!!!

May all your A's be in school and your F's be in bed. :) Party like its..er.. 1999 again.

Also happy 4th of July. To all my Americana's down there..hehe I said "down there".

Catch up...

2006-07-04T10:18:00.000-07:00

I know there has been a serious lack of posting lately.. For everyone. I think its the summer weather. Everyone wants to get out and enjoy the sun and just get active.

Its seems like suddenly I'm so busy, now that my son is getting used to going out and adjusting to crowds I'm really trying to get him out more each day. For both of us! lol.

I've also been slacking off on the posts because I've been sorting through a lot of personal stuff. Usually my M.O. for dealing with my "feelings" is just not. Kind of burying them and forgetting about them. On the surface at least. The problem is, sometime or another they have to be dealt with. Its confusing because everday I feel a little bit better and a little bit stronger but then sometimes I feel a little bit crazier,angrier and a little more out of control.

Yes, a lot of it is because of my ex-fiance. I know it wouldn't make a difference to actually tell him how I really feel and what I really think about him because some people just reach a point where they are so far gone that there is only one path left for them to walk. In my heart I feel he is like that. Everyones day of judgement will come, some just come sooner than others. Sadly when it does, I don't think his will be good.

SO one part of me wants to hate him but in my heart I really just feel sad for him. He will never know the joy I know. He will never learn all the things this life has to offer. I don't believe in Hell as per say, but I think that everyone suffers at the hands of their earthly mistakes. You can either admit to the pain you have caused and forgive the pain your caused or you just continue to suffer and suffer.

OKAY!!! enough of my babble.

I was hungry so I had to take a break to get some lunch..hmm tuna! Best fish in a can ever...

Its also laundry day, other wise known as tee-shirt and boxers day because thats all I have left lol! No matter though, the shorts work out nicely in the 30 degree plus heat. They also have Homer Simpson on them...yeah sexy, I know!!! :P I have to take my son for his second round of shots today and I am sooooo not looking forward to that! I hate it when he cries, I just feel so bad for him! I wish I could get them instead. I have no problems with needles. I've had so fricken many of them. Sadly none of them were tattoo related..someday soon though!!!!!!

Well I hear him crying so I gotta run... well not run, I've been having a hard time taking off the baby weight *damn you caramel drumsticks!!!* so I don't really run. Okay..its not that bad but I need to get in some kind of shape *round is a shape* if I want to take him swimming this summer.

Peace out. K!

2006-07-01T14:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Canada Day!!! Song of the day:No diggity-blackstreet.

The diss of the day award goes to... London Drugs.

Seriously, on Canada Day you have only 2 (out of 4) tills open and one of them is located right by one of the main entrance/exits. Therefore you not only have the people waiting in line but also the incomming and out going traffic. Can you say crowded! Duh!

I am disapointed that I haven't seen more people wearing red..I was this morning but due to some oh so classy baby spit up I had to change lol. Well if I make it out to the fire works tonight I may have to wear a red sweat shirt or something.

I am also wearing my underoo's with the smiling maple leaves on them. Swanky no?

hmm weird..

2006-06-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

Its a beautful sunny day here in my own little part of the world and I have to say I'm feeling pretty damn good!

The bambino is in a great mood so that makes me happier than normal.

Its odd today because I'm wearing a shirt that says faith and I decided to dig in my musical archives for something different and what did I decide to play?
"Faith" by Limp Bizkit. Hmmm maybe someone is trying to tell me something. LOL although I suppose its true, I've been stressing about a bunch of crap lately and I should have just sat back and relaxed. I'm accepting that stress is going to be a huge part of my life looking after a baby but its not all bad.

Just gotta keep on keepin on! I would love to get away though, for maybe even a day. I do go out every now and then but its always so rushed. It would be nice to not have to worry so much for a little while. I say that now but I know I would go and still be calling all the time lol.

So today I'm just going to relax, sip some limeonade (I like it better than lemon and I make it fresh) maybe take the kid out for a walk, do some laundry..paint my freaking toe nails!!! * I can't have nude toes they look weird* and then...who knows. I like to keep a little spontaneity in my day cuz rountine is B-o-r-i-n-g!

Oh btw T>G>I>F!!!!!

2006-06-28T20:23:00.000-07:00

So once again I would like to take a sec to promote another great Canadian band..unfortunatly these guys are hard to find as they are still pretty indie. Which means unless you live in Eastern Canada you have to fill out some forms and search around a bit for the CD. But we are in luck as a few of their songs are on their myspace page.

http://www.twelve34.ca/ that is the offical site where you can get to the my space page from there. I will admit, at first I was skeptical and thought "Yeah ok they look like a bunch of late 20/30 something guys that probably jam in one of their mom's garages..but I thought "Well I suppose its not fair to judge before giving a listen" I was pleasantly surprised. The newest track "Wander" is absolute yum! Its the neatest mix of country and rock since...uhmm I don't know but its good stuff. I say go forth and listen.

I'm tired... baby continues to teeth...and so I continue to not sleep lol! Whatever though he's so fudging cute and as long as I have my coffee *and wine* mommy doesn't care. :)

2006-06-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

M.B--- you had better promise to write. I'll send you cookies and maxim. I don't do mushy well..but you know,I know and thats all we need too know. You know?

"Where'd you go, I miss you so feels like its been forever since you've been gone, please come back home..." : Fort Minor.

Miss ya lots...I'll always "care" *ohhh get it?!* ;) K~

2006-06-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

I might see you in the sands
or on the barren plains
I might see you in medals
or never here again.

I might see you coming off a plane
Walking oh so proud
would die inside to see you carried
covered by a shroud.

I'll miss you when you go away
I'll pray for your return
Inside I keep a flame lit for you
forever it shall burn.

2006-06-25T19:41:00.000-07:00

I'll give up blogging when they pry the computer from my cold dead hands! :)

Today was quite interesting indeed!

Went on a little nature walk with my ex... not my exfiance..but my cool ex. We probably should have planned ahead, I could have used a hat and some sunscreen! It was flippin warm today!

Anywhos... I had just finished telling my ex to watch out for rattle snakes because we have them in the area and he was totally making fun of me saying there wasn't. We had been walking on an unpaved trail and all of a sudden my ex who was walking slightly infront of me stops dead and goes "TURN AROUND,TURN AROUND GOGOGOGO!!!!" I had caught just the tail end of it but sure enough, it was in fact a snake. After we stoped running I had to make fun of him * yeah I'm kinda a bitch that way ;)* Because someone said that there were no snakes.

We also saw a deer, some geese and their babies and two tiny little brown bunnies! Sooo cute! They were so small they probably would have just about fit in the palm of the hand. It was really awesome because its such a beautiful area, trees,water, sand, its got a little bit of everything. All thats missing is mountains. Thats a little farther south. Personally as far as water goes I would rather be at the ocean too. My ex said he's never been so its on our list of things to do..Besides running away to San Cabo or Vegas..either will do. :)

So that was my big adventure for the day. My ex and I laugh because it seems like just about everytime we get together we get into some weird life threatening situations! Although we did have some lovely mental conversations...you know the ones... Where your talking but you never bother to finish the sentence because the other person always knows what your going to say!

I 'm totally beat though so I think I will bid you all good night. Hope everyones enjoying nice weather too.

2006-06-24T14:09:00.000-07:00

sorry sorry sorry...

I know I've been slow cranking out the posts today but I've been busy. I'm back to work a lil bit..not much but it still plays me out! Plus I've been spending a lot of time with my kid, we went to the mall today *he had a little sleep in his stroller..on his tummy of course!* I bought him a jolly jumper and I'm super jealous. They look so fun.

Things are good...my myspace page has been blowing up! lol in one day I got like..3 adds..thats pretty sweet. Its always nice to know that people apperciate a lil ole dork like me.

Anywho I think I need a nap! Or a coffee.. or both..although not at the same time. That could be disasterous.

A really good friend of mine just told me he's listing into the military. I have mixed feelings about that. I'm happy he's finding a direction to go in but I'm really opposed to war..No I'm not one of those hippies but I think its just really..silly.. theres always going to be war but that doesn't mean we should be responsible for always fighting it. That and its dangerous, I wouldn't want to see him get hurt..or worse. I love him like a..I was gonna say brother but that would be kinda icky..I love him like a really good friend and he's pretty special in my little world.

Okay, enough blathering on I think I hear my little sunshine doing his cooing routine from the next room..so time to go get him up!

2006-06-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Wow..comments have been sparse lately..I feel so un-love-ed!

Just kidding.. I've got a new myspace page, its nothing fantastical but if you want to have a gander or add me that kind of thing..

http://www.myspace.com/naughtypillows

That is all..end transmission.

all in the mix...

2006-06-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

If Jewel and Simon and Garfunkle had a three way and produced a love child it would sound like Sandi Thom.

I highly recommend downloading her song "I wish I was a punk rocker". Its candy for the ears kids. Sweet, sweet candy.

Also lovin a CANADIAN! (eh) D.J. Tiga... He does a sweet house/techno remix of "I wear my sunglasses" Taking a good 80's song..and funkin it up..Genius.

I would additionally like to give mad props to an East Coast Canadian rapper by the name of "Classified" This guy is amazing. I believe he actual won..best Canadian rap album, or single..not sure which.. at the MMVA (much music video awards) I would check out "No Mistakes" and "Hey Now" *which actually samples from Crowded house's "Don't dream its over".*

Check check check it out....;) *brass monkey still in my humble opin..one of the wickedest party songs*

2006-06-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

VIVA LA 80's CARTOONS!!!!

also viva being able to watch them released on DvD. The dream of watching childhood cartoons with a ..slightly altered perception...is the best thing ever.

2006-06-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

Sadly, there will be no cup brought home this year. The Oilers were defeated 3-1 by N.Carolina. I don't even want to talk about it. It just licks balls. It licked so hard.

Anyway I think I'm gonna light some candles,have a warm bath,put on some R.E.M and have a good cry....uh not really.

Theres always next year...and its no mercy fuckers..

2006-06-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

As pointed out to me, the links for the little quizzes below are not working. You can find the quizzes at www.blogthings.com its a good time waster.

Tonight is Game 7 of the Stanley cup series~ GO OILER'S!!!!!!

I'll be watching the game at "The Movie Mill" on the big screen for anyone who lives in the area. Just bring in a caned good. But come early cuz seats go fast. I'm so psyched!!

2006-06-18T13:51:00.000-07:00

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

its funny cuz its true.

2006-06-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

You Are a Fun Flirt

You just can't help yourself... you flirt with everyone you know.
Guys, girls, crushes, and friends. They're all victims to your charm.
You're into silly innuendos, sexy jokes, and playful touches.
You are a huge flirt, yet you never make anyone (too) uncomfortable!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

creepy..hehe

2006-06-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

Your Mood Ring is Orange

Stimulating ideas
Daring
Full of desires

Mood Ring Generator

lately I've been feeling kind of randy and thinking a few..riske thoughts..so this was kinda neat.

2006-06-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present.
For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt.

You attract others with your joy and passion.
Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate.

Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life.
And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal.

You connect best with: Wood

Avoid: Water

You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?