That girl...is....
A long long time ago, long before I was a mommy there was a little blog called "Soap Opera or My Life" it was all about my (mis) adventures in love and life. It was my little haven where I could say whatever wanted, it was my little soap box in the lime light.
There was actually another part to this blog and had I kept it my archives would be much,much larger than they are now. One or two of you may remember the old blog. I erased it mainly for 2 reasons. One, it contained many memories that were bittersweet and at times painful to me. Once I had written them I felt that it was my therapy and that keeping them and reading them again and again would serve as nothing but salt in old wounds. The second reason is because some of the very deep emotional situations I was writing about were playing out in real time and they were being read. Now I have never had a problem with being opinionated and telling people exactly what I think about them, but this was something else. They were thoughts that I wasn't sure I could share, or wanted to.
Which leads me to how I was labled "That Girl". It seems that I have never been able to have a normal relationship in my life. I had to laugh about an entry of one of my girl friends and how she called herself a preditor. I could relate only too well. I'm very agressive and I know how to get what I want, when I want it. Thats how I am with men. Once I set my sights its only a matter of time before I get what I want. Except it always ends up being more than I bargained for.
It was explained to me like this "you are the cocaine of women, one hit and you always want more." SO you wonder why that would be so bad. Simply, too much of a good thing. I think I scare men. I want to treat them like kings and its almost like a novelty. Then they realize there must be something wrong, like I'm too good to be true. So I get dumped. Its only later that they say "God I regret/wish/ feel stupid" for dumping you. Yup I'm that girl.
I haven't always minded being that girl, its kind of like an alter ego. When I'm "that girl" I'm the naughty girl. The one your girl friend doesn't like but won't say why. She knows I'm the one you come to behind her back but she can't prove it. I'm the one you never forget about. No matter how many girls later I always seem to pop up in your thoughts.
The disadvantage... its lonely. I've been "that girl" long before I realised I was. One of my first few relationships in this town was with a married guy. He was only mine when he could get away from her.
I have regrets living this way. Giving too much and asking for too little, and taking too little. I believe that is one of the reasons I am alone now. Have I learned from it? Most definitly. But the things I would really want to change..well its kind of a moot point now.
So there you have it... "That girl" the one you want to have, the one you wish you could forget.
Song o'the day : Bother-Stone Sour.
There was actually another part to this blog and had I kept it my archives would be much,much larger than they are now. One or two of you may remember the old blog. I erased it mainly for 2 reasons. One, it contained many memories that were bittersweet and at times painful to me. Once I had written them I felt that it was my therapy and that keeping them and reading them again and again would serve as nothing but salt in old wounds. The second reason is because some of the very deep emotional situations I was writing about were playing out in real time and they were being read. Now I have never had a problem with being opinionated and telling people exactly what I think about them, but this was something else. They were thoughts that I wasn't sure I could share, or wanted to.
Which leads me to how I was labled "That Girl". It seems that I have never been able to have a normal relationship in my life. I had to laugh about an entry of one of my girl friends and how she called herself a preditor. I could relate only too well. I'm very agressive and I know how to get what I want, when I want it. Thats how I am with men. Once I set my sights its only a matter of time before I get what I want. Except it always ends up being more than I bargained for.
It was explained to me like this "you are the cocaine of women, one hit and you always want more." SO you wonder why that would be so bad. Simply, too much of a good thing. I think I scare men. I want to treat them like kings and its almost like a novelty. Then they realize there must be something wrong, like I'm too good to be true. So I get dumped. Its only later that they say "God I regret/wish/ feel stupid" for dumping you. Yup I'm that girl.
I haven't always minded being that girl, its kind of like an alter ego. When I'm "that girl" I'm the naughty girl. The one your girl friend doesn't like but won't say why. She knows I'm the one you come to behind her back but she can't prove it. I'm the one you never forget about. No matter how many girls later I always seem to pop up in your thoughts.
The disadvantage... its lonely. I've been "that girl" long before I realised I was. One of my first few relationships in this town was with a married guy. He was only mine when he could get away from her.
I have regrets living this way. Giving too much and asking for too little, and taking too little. I believe that is one of the reasons I am alone now. Have I learned from it? Most definitly. But the things I would really want to change..well its kind of a moot point now.
So there you have it... "That girl" the one you want to have, the one you wish you could forget.
Song o'the day : Bother-Stone Sour.
posted by that girl at 8:01 PM
5 Comments:
Oh Krizzy. If I make it down south anytime in the next while I'll drop in. but its not too likely. email me sometime.
Girl, I KNOW!! So many similarities...too little time. I've never been called the "Cocaine of women" but I've had my share of losers...white, black, hispanic... a universal travesty. Where do you meet good guys with just enough bad to keep it interesting?
in australia...
^ correct
alright...well, we're on our way then...
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