so on top of being tired and not being able to sleep well..I had to dream about my dead ex bf. I just woke up about 10 minutes ago breathing almost to the point of hyperventilating and I felt like grief was sitting on my cheast.

The dream didn't really make sense, but seeing him and having him talk to me. I was crying in my dream and all I really remember is that he had my chin in his hand and he was whispering something to me. I miss the person he was. I know that would couldn't have stayed together but I wanted to be his friend and I won't ever have that chance.

My brain is so tweaked out right now. Its pretty much overloading me with crap..so I will kill it with mind altering drugs..touche brain,touche.

I feel really alone right now...and thats not a great feeling.