I was debating not writing my blog anymore.. The reason I started this blog was because I was an anonymous person writing about the intimate details of my life. It was mostly for me,to see my thoughts and feelings in print. It was a way for me to sit and get it all out and then disect it and break it down and make sense of the whole sorrid mess that at some times was my life.

In the past I was the type of person that was an open book. I wasn't an emotional mess but if you wanted to know how I was feeling you usually didn't have to ask. I didn't have many secrets and I didn't think that writing about my life was all that interesting to anyone but myself. So I plodded along writing about what it was like being a single carefree chick. I wrote about the guy(s) *hehe* I was seeing/sleeping with, the drama of them, my work and my friends. It read a lot like a sex and the city type thing.

People however, have this funny way of changing and evolving. I don't want to say "growing up" because I'm not sure if I was ever a normal child or if I will ever grow up into being a normal adult. Anyways, My life became a lot more personal and I realized that my relationships were becomming a lot more intimate. Not just sexually but emotionally. Sometimes those things are the hardest to write about.

Also over the years I have learned some very,very hard lessons about the price of intimacy. I have had to change my perspectives and therefore my writing.

I no longer see my life as an open book but as a poker game. I guess the old addage of "keeping your cards close to your vest" is what I try to go by. Sometimes I still go all in, others I fold and sometimes I bluff just to see where it will get me. You never want to give up everything.

I have secrets about my relationships with certain people that I don't think will ever come past my lips. Maybe someday when I meet the person I am destined to be with, if that day ever comes..I will lay down all my cards and just go for broke. I only hope that they would stay in the game after learning about the hands I've been dealt and the ones I've played.

SO, if you've managed to read this far you are probably wondering "What about the blog then?"

I think I may continue it but I don't think I will be writing much about my personal life. I will continue to write about my kid, things I think are funny,bitch about news..or whatever I might be bitching about...ect. As far as who I'm screwing *or not screwing for that matter* who I love or don't love or any of that stuff..well I think thats done for a while. Although I will probably continue to write about my sexy dream encounters about me and my celebrity bitches :) don't worry I'll try and spare the graphic details....

If you all wanna keep reading thats cool, I like reading a lot of the people's blogs who read mine. Mostly because they have far more interesting lives lol :P I also do value the nice comments and I have been really happy that I have managed to make connections through this blog to people that I consider my friends.

There it is everyone. The blog shall live on..for now ;)