"We are the tards,they like to keep us together"

I don't think I've ever written about the tards who live across the street from me. normally I wouldn't call them tards, I think they like to be called mentally disabled or impared. I refer to them as tards because thats actually what they called themselves the day I met them. So I better not get any nasty comments about not calling tards, tards. okie dokie then..on with the story.

*Side note: I have used the word tard 6 times now...its loosing meaning already*


Tard encounter 1#
I think it was the day of my sisters wedding when we first noticed them, it was a sweltering 38 (thats degrees cel.) and we were heading out the door to hop in the limo. A limo is a fancy thing and people always seem to like gawking when they see one but it was my family and I who did the gawking when we noticed one of the tards standing in the middle of his drive way wearing his bathing trunks watching us, which might not have been so weird except that he was wearing a darth maul mask..you know, the red and black one from the star wars movie. Alright then.

Tard encounter 2#
It was another nice day quite sometime later and Iwas walking home from the store by my house. I was passing a middle aged man a short distance from my house picking up his mail. He said hello and politely made comment about the nice weather.I slowed down and agreed. He stuck out his hand and introduced himself. "Well I'm Bruce, Bruce Wayne..Whats your name?"
I though, okay maybe its a funny coincidence and I shouldn't say an..."I'm Batman"! was what came next before I could finish my thought. Thats right kids, this guy thought he was batman..not the Micheal Keaton,George Clooney or Val Kilmer Batman..Oh no, he was the old school Adam West batman. At that point I continued to be polite but started walking a little quicker in the direction of my house. Before he went into the tard house he told me he would "See me next week, same great time,same great channel.." Uh...yeah..

Tard encounter 3#
After much debate with my family about the "house of tards" I decided to find out exactly what the deal was. So I saw one of the midget tards outside and approached him. I was very friendly and we made conversation for a while and I asked him if he was visiting the house or if he lived there with family. His reply was this "We are the tards and they like to keep us together." Like it was some kind of tard society or Tard pen to keep them from running loose in the streets. I got the chance to then chat with one of the non-tard caretakers and it turned out that it was kinda like a group home for tards. Caretakers are there round the clock but the tards practically live independantly.

I've met most of the tards in the house and a lot of them are pretty cool. I still think Batman is the shit as long as you do not in anyway allude to crime of any sort. Don't talk about stuff you saw in the paper or on the news..nothing. This gets him hysterical and he raves about going to the bat cave. I wish I was making this up....