what a dear john letter might look like if it was written by k-fed.
Yo missus,
Ever since you cut off my weekly allowance things haven't quite been the same for us. You never want to watch the stylist do my corn rows and you haven't groped my package on a balcony in public for ages.
Remember our first date when we went out for fried chicken and watched a mud wrestling match. After that I knew it was love and you bought your engagment ring to give to me to propose to you with.
Those days are over now,ever since you had our spawn...er..baby you've really let yourself go. Your extensions are showing along with your roots,your pockets are hanging out of your jean shorts and you don't seem to wear shoes into gas stations restrooms that look more dirty than I am.
I can't believe I left my pregnant girl friend for you. I've given you everything, my dirty laundry, my mooching friends and I let you call me justin in bed. I even wrote a song for you Britney....
Oh brit your the shit
i don't wanna quit
loving you.
your so with it
your my meal ticket
and I love your boobs...
Well thats as far as I got but my agent said its gonna be a hit, I just have to find a lable that will take me seriously.
But now I realise that if you aren't commited to making this marrige work I have to move on. I'm gonna do it as soon as we work out the prenup. I'm sick of being called "Mr. Spears" and "Kept" or "Britney's Grease monkey lacky".
If you find any of my wife beaters laying around you can mail them to my moms house. I'll have you know she kept my room just the way it was when I moved out 2 years ago.
Goodbye BitBit ~ Kevin.
p.s. could you text me J.Simpsons number, I hear she's single now.
Ever since you cut off my weekly allowance things haven't quite been the same for us. You never want to watch the stylist do my corn rows and you haven't groped my package on a balcony in public for ages.
Remember our first date when we went out for fried chicken and watched a mud wrestling match. After that I knew it was love and you bought your engagment ring to give to me to propose to you with.
Those days are over now,ever since you had our spawn...er..baby you've really let yourself go. Your extensions are showing along with your roots,your pockets are hanging out of your jean shorts and you don't seem to wear shoes into gas stations restrooms that look more dirty than I am.
I can't believe I left my pregnant girl friend for you. I've given you everything, my dirty laundry, my mooching friends and I let you call me justin in bed. I even wrote a song for you Britney....
Oh brit your the shit
i don't wanna quit
loving you.
your so with it
your my meal ticket
and I love your boobs...
Well thats as far as I got but my agent said its gonna be a hit, I just have to find a lable that will take me seriously.
But now I realise that if you aren't commited to making this marrige work I have to move on. I'm gonna do it as soon as we work out the prenup. I'm sick of being called "Mr. Spears" and "Kept" or "Britney's Grease monkey lacky".
If you find any of my wife beaters laying around you can mail them to my moms house. I'll have you know she kept my room just the way it was when I moved out 2 years ago.
Goodbye BitBit ~ Kevin.
p.s. could you text me J.Simpsons number, I hear she's single now.
posted by that girl at 1:42 PM
7 Comments:
kiki's a little bit disappointed nobody commented (apart from you) on his pineapple rant...
you've got to admire someone like k-fed. he's gone from having absolutley nothing to being a b-grade celebrity and wealthy in a very short time
props to him for abusing her wealth and stupididy
Check out this video clip from Family Guy about K-Fed.
Regarding another comment , I named my dog Cash, b/c she was the puppy in black.
kiki, maybe it was just so good that nobody felt that their comment could be better than yours...happy now? would you like a cookie?:P
Did somebody say cookies.
btw, I laughed really hard reading this.
This is good, but where is the FIYAH!!!!!
LOL
regarding the pineapple rant - it was perfect just the way it was. be proud. stand up straight, stick your chest out, run around swinging your legs back so hard that they kick you in the ass - cause dangit!! you did a damn good job...
dave can vouch for me
i stick my chest out most of the time
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