long bitchy post..you can skip it if you want...
Oh geez..
If theres one thing I hate, that really pisses me off, its pity.
Now there is a difference between being sympathetic and sensitive and pittying someone. People can fee bad for a situation or the outcome but don't say you feel sorry for me. It makes me feel weak and like I'm a big loser.
My mom did this to me. I didn't get mad at her though cuz shes my mom and I know she meant well...plus thats why I come here..to bitch lol.
She gave me a hug today *my family hugs a lot, we are dysfunctional but tight anyway* and she goes "Sometimes I just feel so bad for you...." I cringed, because I hate hearing that and I knew something was comming. So I took a deep breath and asked her why. "If you could just meet someone nice... maybe get out and meet some people.." She kinda trailed off there.
Fuck..are you kidding me? I've only been broken up from my exfiance of almost a year for about 7 months. And it wasn't like we just had a big fight and broke up, he cheated on me, took my money, roughed me up while I was pregnant and left me. OH sure I'm just dying to jump back into a relationship!!!!
Yes, I will admit it, I'm fucking lonely. It's bloody hard raising a baby by myself and I miss having someone to be intimate with but I've got so many issues right now that it would hardly be fair to even attempt a relationship. Also I would like to know just how she expects me to meet people in this town. I'm not a bar star and I'm not a church goer. That kinda narrows it down for me. There isn't anything wrong with bars *if thats the kind of people your looking for* and there isn't anything wrong with people who go to church *but I don't really buy into that shit is all* Plus its kinda hard to meet guys that are going to freak out the second I mention I have a kid. I feel like they are going to think that all I want is a baby daddy and money. Really, getting laid isn't an issue anymore either. I can get laid if I really wanted to but whats the point. ITs fucking empty, doesn't change how I feel ect. Its not really good when its in the backseat of a car and theres no cuddling after. I may as well just stay home and do it myself at least I won't care if I fall asleep after.
Plus I have only actually been on one offical "date" in my life and it was horrible!!! He was so pushy and I hate that~ he was trying to hold my hand like 30 mins into the movie we went to. First of all, I don't know you and I don't know where your hands have been. Secondly I like to make the moves first bitch. :P
FLYINGMOTHERCUPCAKES!!! AAARRRRGGGHHH!
You know what I want? Ideally I want someone who I know I can trust *above anything else* someone who makes me laugh, that I can just hang out with in my ratty sweats and drink coffee with or get dressed up with and go to a fancy dinner and still have a good time.Someone that I could breakdown completely infront of and they won't freak out *very rare if this happens* Someone who has a mind of their own and will argue with me *good naturedly, don't be a prick* Someone I can have sex with *a lot* and not have to feel self conscious around * this is a huge deal for me* Someone who has their own life but makes me a part of it and respects that I have my own life too. Someone that I can see myself being with and who wants to be with me and my son...eventually...but there won't be a huge pressure to make it all perfect. Someone who likes to be taken care of and will be there for me when I go to bed at night.
Alright, I think I'm done for the moment. I'm tired as usual so I think I will get while the gettins good.
posted by that girl at 8:23 PM
5 Comments:
i always feel the same way. i hate pity. i can do that on my own. what i need is either help or someone to listen. it's hard out there looking for a quality guy. i'm not even being fecetious (sp?) this time. it just really is hard to meet people. i go to church and bars and i keep meeting the wrong people. so that's not even a guarantee. and i think worst thing about meeting the wrong people is that they make you feel like your needs/wants are completely over the top. and i don't know if you feel that way cause you didn't say, but they're not. you are completely justified. i will have an email coming your way at some point this week. sorry i've been so bad about that lately.
n/p I imagine you've been hella busy :)
I completely agree about the needs/wants thing. Thats one more thing that really fucks things up, we are always told as women that we should have high standards but its seems like everytime we turn a corner we are being told that we will never meet a man if we are sooo picky!!! So what's to do?!
I noticed I did that a lot with D I would ask him to do things with/for me that I thought were reasonable normal relationship things and he made me feel like a crazy demanding bitch. Some men suck!!!
I look forward to your email!! I miss you~!!! I have a few bits of juice to tell you as well..:)
Ohhhhhh, I feel really bad for you for hating pity. You poor thing. Is there anything I can do?
Whoa! I'm kidding.
Um, yeah, I do hear ya too. It weird because I know a few dudes who are looking for quality chicks and just seem to luck out. I think honestly, it's a numbers thing, you've just got to try as many dudes out as you can until you find a good one.
Maybe not what you want to hear, but I think it's true.
Thank you for the advice... I know its true even though it sucks. But seriously I think I attract the wrong type of guys, I'll take the blame for it but I can't help it. I find that a lot of "nice guys" are kinda boring and just can't handle me. I'm not a wild woman but I definitly don't like a dull moment. On the other hand I'm a nice girl and men seem to like women who treat them like shit lol.
So whadda ya gonna do eh?
Yeah, dudes and chicks are idiots, there is no arguing that.
I don't think peeps can be so easily defined as nice or not though. I know for some people I am lovely, others I'm so way totally not. People are heaps reactive so if you set down the rules early 'I want to be treated nice but don't let me get bored' I reckon dudes will step up.
While you give the impression here that you might be awesome/okayish I'm sure you're not so unique that there are no dudes for you.
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