sad but true

my worst fears have come true..

the boy that I though was going to make all my dreams come true..turned out to be a nightmare.

It was all lies. His job,the money,his faithfulness.

Just a few days shy of Christmas I find out that the money that was supposed to create our future together went to drinking,drugs and girls.

He tried to say it wasn't true, he tried to say he was sorry. He tried to do everything but what he should have done.

I have 2 months left before the baby comes and I feel as though everything has been taken away from me but the child. Its so hard to know how to feel because it is on one hand an innocent child but also part of someone that I hate and yet still love so much.

It seems like I try so hard to have faith and everyday I am tested and I feel like everyday I fail. Is this child supposed to give me back my faith? Or just remind me eternally of my mistakes?