Rrrriiiipppp!

That my friends is the sound of an extremely painful,yet extremly trendy brazillian wax. I am recovering with a strategically placed ice pack as I sit in front of my computer. The only reason I took it off today is because tonight I have my third dinner date with the very sexy Mr. M. We all know what the third date entails and I want to be prepared.

Prepared...it sounds like I'm getting ready to go into battle rather than on a date. My male friends always ask me why women fish so hard for compliments on dates and my answer is always this : "After all the planning we put into one little date, it shouldn't be too damn hard for you to tell us we look pretty. "

Don't buy it guys? Lets review: * to be fair I asked my good guy friend J to provide his side of a pre-date ritual.*

My pre-date ritual- *set for the time line of a 7:00 pm date*

4-5pm - Do yoga with heat cranked up,so as to sweat off water weight and looked toned.
5:00-5:30- turn heat down,shower,exfoliate,shave,moisturize and add light coat of self tanner. While waiting for tanner to dry paint fingers and toes. Put on chick music and go through underwear drawer. Weed out laundry day underwear for sexy bra and panty combo.
5:30-6:00- assess clothing and carefully pick out tastefull yet sexy outfit. Accessorize with necklace,ring and bracelet...remove bracelet for fear of looking too "busy".
6:00-6:30-Do hair and make-up,have a glass of something to calm nerves. Spray a mist of sensual new perfume and walk through so as to not gag date.
6:30-6:45-Brush teeth,apply lipstick,re-touch make-up and hair. Stand in front of mirror nervously smoothing outfit with hands.
6:45-6:55- Load tiny purse with essentials, Lipstick,mints,compact,cell-phone,keys,money,credit cards,tampons,band-aids,safety pins,condoms,tissues and a tooth brush *hey ya never know!*
6:55-7:00- Stand by front door posing and waiting for door bell.
7:10- Door bell rings, check self out one last time and get ready to face date.

His pre-date ritual:

5:00-5:30- Sit in front of T.V flipping between Sports center and Nascar.
5:30-5:45- Shave and shower. Examine body in mirror, flexing for imaginary girls. Brush teeth and apply pit stick. Douse on colonge. Want date to notice how good you smell and kill her olefatory glands simultaniously.
5:45-6:00- Look for clean underwear and clothes. Assess wrinkles and if you can hide old stain with a tie. Think about ironing shirt. Laugh to self.
6:00-6:45- Play X-box football, have a beer to loosen up. Loose track of time.
6:45-6:55- Search for wallet,keys and socks. Check wallet for lucky condom. Head out the door.
6:55-7:00-Goes back to lock front door.
7:00-7:05-Runs into stop&shop to pick up 10$ flower arrangement. You really want to impress her and nothing does it better than flowers.
7:10-Ring dates doorbell and hopes tonight she will show apperciation for flowers.

So there you have it. Now I know that not all guys are as...how should I say it...Low-matinence as my friend J, lets not forget about our "metro-sexual males" out there. I would imagine that their pre-date ritual would be an mixing of both the female and male rituals..so...gelling highlighted hair into place while listening to sports from the other room.

But back to the wax job. I have always kept this area fairly tidy in terms of hair foliage but one of my bestest girls suggested taking all off "for something exciting". I must admit I do like the notion of floss free oral sex but am a little weirded out by the starkness of it.

Ohhh, I just got a text message who I assume is from Mr.M. I can't wait to see what he has in store for us tonight.....

Let me know what ya'll think..continue? Males and females comments welcomed.