I know its been over a week since my last post. I've had a lot on my plate lately.

You know when you think about something so much that the thought of actually putting it down on paper makes you sick? Thats kinda what I've been doing.


I'm thinking I'm going to look into going to therapy, yeah yeah I know I've said it before that I personally don't believe in it but shit is getting to thick for me. I just don't know what good telling everything to another person who knows absolutly nothing about me will do. That was kinda the point of this blog. I would vent out my side and my feelings and not have to care what anyone else said or thought. Those who know me, know me and those who don't can either get to know me or click on the next blog button.

I guess I'm just getting worn down by my ex. I do this every single time he comes around talking his talk. I know its just talk but it doesn't make it any easier. Everyone has one of those, the ex that you know is absolutly toxic and you should just cut them out of your life but for some reason your resolve just melts everytime they call. Its almost like a having a multiple personality. Reading him write that he still loves me gets to me just a little in my heart but on the other hand I want to just scream and punch my monitor because if he really loved me he wouldn't have done all the things he's done.

Dammit... getting way to emotional here. Time to reign it in.

So I probably won't go to a therapist. I really don't have the money lol.