hmm weird..

Its a beautful sunny day here in my own little part of the world and I have to say I'm feeling pretty damn good!

The bambino is in a great mood so that makes me happier than normal.

Its odd today because I'm wearing a shirt that says faith and I decided to dig in my musical archives for something different and what did I decide to play?
"Faith" by Limp Bizkit. Hmmm maybe someone is trying to tell me something. LOL although I suppose its true, I've been stressing about a bunch of crap lately and I should have just sat back and relaxed. I'm accepting that stress is going to be a huge part of my life looking after a baby but its not all bad.

Just gotta keep on keepin on! I would love to get away though, for maybe even a day. I do go out every now and then but its always so rushed. It would be nice to not have to worry so much for a little while. I say that now but I know I would go and still be calling all the time lol.

So today I'm just going to relax, sip some limeonade (I like it better than lemon and I make it fresh) maybe take the kid out for a walk, do some laundry..paint my freaking toe nails!!! * I can't have nude toes they look weird* and then...who knows. I like to keep a little spontaneity in my day cuz rountine is B-o-r-i-n-g!


Oh btw T>G>I>F!!!!!

So once again I would like to take a sec to promote another great Canadian band..unfortunatly these guys are hard to find as they are still pretty indie. Which means unless you live in Eastern Canada you have to fill out some forms and search around a bit for the CD. But we are in luck as a few of their songs are on their myspace page.

http://www.twelve34.ca/ that is the offical site where you can get to the my space page from there. I will admit, at first I was skeptical and thought "Yeah ok they look like a bunch of late 20/30 something guys that probably jam in one of their mom's garages..but I thought "Well I suppose its not fair to judge before giving a listen" I was pleasantly surprised. The newest track "Wander" is absolute yum! Its the neatest mix of country and rock since...uhmm I don't know but its good stuff. I say go forth and listen.

I'm tired... baby continues to teeth...and so I continue to not sleep lol! Whatever though he's so fudging cute and as long as I have my coffee *and wine* mommy doesn't care. :)

M.B--- you had better promise to write. I'll send you cookies and maxim. I don't do mushy well..but you know,I know and thats all we need too know. You know?

"Where'd you go, I miss you so feels like its been forever since you've been gone, please come back home..." : Fort Minor.

Miss ya lots...I'll always "care" *ohhh get it?!* ;) K~

I might see you in the sands
or on the barren plains
I might see you in medals
or never here again.

I might see you coming off a plane
Walking oh so proud
would die inside to see you carried
covered by a shroud.

I'll miss you when you go away
I'll pray for your return
Inside I keep a flame lit for you
forever it shall burn.

I'll give up blogging when they pry the computer from my cold dead hands! :)

Today was quite interesting indeed!

Went on a little nature walk with my ex... not my exfiance..but my cool ex. We probably should have planned ahead, I could have used a hat and some sunscreen! It was flippin warm today!

Anywhos... I had just finished telling my ex to watch out for rattle snakes because we have them in the area and he was totally making fun of me saying there wasn't. We had been walking on an unpaved trail and all of a sudden my ex who was walking slightly infront of me stops dead and goes "TURN AROUND,TURN AROUND GOGOGOGO!!!!" I had caught just the tail end of it but sure enough, it was in fact a snake. After we stoped running I had to make fun of him * yeah I'm kinda a bitch that way ;)* Because someone said that there were no snakes.

We also saw a deer, some geese and their babies and two tiny little brown bunnies! Sooo cute! They were so small they probably would have just about fit in the palm of the hand. It was really awesome because its such a beautiful area, trees,water, sand, its got a little bit of everything. All thats missing is mountains. Thats a little farther south. Personally as far as water goes I would rather be at the ocean too. My ex said he's never been so its on our list of things to do..Besides running away to San Cabo or Vegas..either will do. :)

So that was my big adventure for the day. My ex and I laugh because it seems like just about everytime we get together we get into some weird life threatening situations! Although we did have some lovely mental conversations...you know the ones... Where your talking but you never bother to finish the sentence because the other person always knows what your going to say!

I 'm totally beat though so I think I will bid you all good night. Hope everyones enjoying nice weather too.

sorry sorry sorry...

I know I've been slow cranking out the posts today but I've been busy. I'm back to work a lil bit..not much but it still plays me out! Plus I've been spending a lot of time with my kid, we went to the mall today *he had a little sleep in his stroller..on his tummy of course!* I bought him a jolly jumper and I'm super jealous. They look so fun.

Things are good...my myspace page has been blowing up! lol in one day I got like..3 adds..thats pretty sweet. Its always nice to know that people apperciate a lil ole dork like me.

Anywho I think I need a nap! Or a coffee.. or both..although not at the same time. That could be disasterous.

A really good friend of mine just told me he's listing into the military. I have mixed feelings about that. I'm happy he's finding a direction to go in but I'm really opposed to war..No I'm not one of those hippies but I think its just really..silly.. theres always going to be war but that doesn't mean we should be responsible for always fighting it. That and its dangerous, I wouldn't want to see him get hurt..or worse. I love him like a..I was gonna say brother but that would be kinda icky..I love him like a really good friend and he's pretty special in my little world.

Okay, enough blathering on I think I hear my little sunshine doing his cooing routine from the next room..so time to go get him up!

Wow..comments have been sparse lately..I feel so un-love-ed!

Just kidding.. I've got a new myspace page, its nothing fantastical but if you want to have a gander or add me that kind of thing..

http://www.myspace.com/naughtypillows

That is all..end transmission.

all in the mix...

If Jewel and Simon and Garfunkle had a three way and produced a love child it would sound like Sandi Thom.

I highly recommend downloading her song "I wish I was a punk rocker". Its candy for the ears kids. Sweet, sweet candy.

Also lovin a CANADIAN! (eh) D.J. Tiga... He does a sweet house/techno remix of "I wear my sunglasses" Taking a good 80's song..and funkin it up..Genius.

I would additionally like to give mad props to an East Coast Canadian rapper by the name of "Classified" This guy is amazing. I believe he actual won..best Canadian rap album, or single..not sure which.. at the MMVA (much music video awards) I would check out "No Mistakes" and "Hey Now" *which actually samples from Crowded house's "Don't dream its over".*

Check check check it out....;) *brass monkey still in my humble opin..one of the wickedest party songs*

VIVA LA 80's CARTOONS!!!!

also viva being able to watch them released on DvD. The dream of watching childhood cartoons with a ..slightly altered perception...is the best thing ever.

Sadly, there will be no cup brought home this year. The Oilers were defeated 3-1 by N.Carolina. I don't even want to talk about it. It just licks balls. It licked so hard.

Anyway I think I'm gonna light some candles,have a warm bath,put on some R.E.M and have a good cry....uh not really.

Theres always next year...and its no mercy fuckers..

As pointed out to me, the links for the little quizzes below are not working. You can find the quizzes at www.blogthings.com its a good time waster.

Tonight is Game 7 of the Stanley cup series~ GO OILER'S!!!!!!

I'll be watching the game at "The Movie Mill" on the big screen for anyone who lives in the area. Just bring in a caned good. But come early cuz seats go fast. I'm so psyched!!

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

its funny cuz its true.

You Are a Fun Flirt

You just can't help yourself... you flirt with everyone you know. Guys, girls, crushes, and friends. They're all victims to your charm. You're into silly innuendos, sexy jokes, and playful touches. You are a huge flirt, yet you never make anyone (too) uncomfortable!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

creepy..hehe

Your Mood Ring is Orange

Stimulating ideas Daring Full of desires

Mood Ring Generator

lately I've been feeling kind of randy and thinking a few..riske thoughts..so this was kinda neat.

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present. For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt. You attract others with your joy and passion. Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate. Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life. And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal. You connect best with: Wood Avoid: Water You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?

HAPPY FATHERS DAY...

happy fathers day first and foremost to my dad.

Also happy fathers day to J.B. *holla* ;) your an awesome dad and its cool that our kids might grow up and get married lol!

Last but not least, happy fathers day to all the daddies out there.

The pimp daddies,the mack daddies, the daddy macks, the sugar daddies, the big daddies and lest we forget the big daddy macks also kids with 2 daddies. your extra special. Don't forget the granddaddies either.

beautiful mess

I hate it when I can't express myself.

I was gonna write a big post on one of my "feelings" right now but it sounded gay. I'd rather not do it such a dis-service. Plus I think that maybe some things are better left off the page and in the brain. Who really wants to know all that stuff anyway?

Your all sitting here going "Duh dude, its about love".. yes it is but what facet of love....and not its not the peanut butter+ your dog kind.

YEE - HAW!!!


that is all.

" On Sale" have to be my favorite two words in the english language. Especially when the sale is at La senza which is normally a tad pricey. Honestly why spend a ton of cash on something thats going to end up (hopefully) on the floor? I love pretty underoo's and what not but I have a budget. Thats why when I saw a sale I was over the moon. The best part?

My mom paid for it. Yeah I'm spoiled..so what. ;) *the pic at the top is what it looks like except its a bronze/goldish color* *if the picture doesn't show up..its hawt anyways *

okay okay..I know I'm going to get shit for saying this but...

I kinda like that paris hilton song "the stars are blind" its cute in a dirty flirty way. "If you show me real love baby,I'll show you mine"

Yes I understand its Paris and I'm pretty sure that love is just her code for her hoo-hoo..but still. Its fun silly summer music. Excellent for getting that special guy drunk and naked on the beach at night, while the water softly laps the shore...er.. Yeah not a bad song.

Well anyways its snack time.

Kiki.

Thank you for sending me an invite to your party..you are most gracious.

I will have to regretfully decline due it costing too damn much.


I look forward to partying with you in the future.


That Girl.

Today was my first day back at work and it was great!

Its an amazing job because I basically work in a grown up toy store..no,not that kind of store. Its like novelty and gag gifts,playboy clothes,concert tees,family guy stuff..its bitchin!

My feet are killin me though and I'm tired because I was up all night listening to the huge thunderstorms we had. There was even a tornado warning out. I'm so proud of my kid...he didn't wake up or anything. There are supposed to be more tonight so this will be a quick post so I can shut my comp down.

If I had more friends, people that were my age and that I could trust not to be total drunken fools...:P....I would love to throw a pajama party..not like a 5th grade sleep over but more like, A playboy type party. There would be big pillows everywhere, a stripper pole, girls in lingerie/night apparel and high heels, guys in satin boxers/pajamas and house coats. Tons of cheap champange(I'm not loaded ya know!) martinis and finger foods. We'd play 7 mins in heaven,truth or dare..that kind of thing..sexy but fun.

Maybe someday when I pick up a girl you know ;) and we head to the land down under. Everyone is invited to said party to occur in future.

That girl...is....

A long long time ago, long before I was a mommy there was a little blog called "Soap Opera or My Life" it was all about my (mis) adventures in love and life. It was my little haven where I could say whatever wanted, it was my little soap box in the lime light.

There was actually another part to this blog and had I kept it my archives would be much,much larger than they are now. One or two of you may remember the old blog. I erased it mainly for 2 reasons. One, it contained many memories that were bittersweet and at times painful to me. Once I had written them I felt that it was my therapy and that keeping them and reading them again and again would serve as nothing but salt in old wounds. The second reason is because some of the very deep emotional situations I was writing about were playing out in real time and they were being read. Now I have never had a problem with being opinionated and telling people exactly what I think about them, but this was something else. They were thoughts that I wasn't sure I could share, or wanted to.

Which leads me to how I was labled "That Girl". It seems that I have never been able to have a normal relationship in my life. I had to laugh about an entry of one of my girl friends and how she called herself a preditor. I could relate only too well. I'm very agressive and I know how to get what I want, when I want it. Thats how I am with men. Once I set my sights its only a matter of time before I get what I want. Except it always ends up being more than I bargained for.

It was explained to me like this "you are the cocaine of women, one hit and you always want more." SO you wonder why that would be so bad. Simply, too much of a good thing. I think I scare men. I want to treat them like kings and its almost like a novelty. Then they realize there must be something wrong, like I'm too good to be true. So I get dumped. Its only later that they say "God I regret/wish/ feel stupid" for dumping you. Yup I'm that girl.

I haven't always minded being that girl, its kind of like an alter ego. When I'm "that girl" I'm the naughty girl. The one your girl friend doesn't like but won't say why. She knows I'm the one you come to behind her back but she can't prove it. I'm the one you never forget about. No matter how many girls later I always seem to pop up in your thoughts.

The disadvantage... its lonely. I've been "that girl" long before I realised I was. One of my first few relationships in this town was with a married guy. He was only mine when he could get away from her.

I have regrets living this way. Giving too much and asking for too little, and taking too little. I believe that is one of the reasons I am alone now. Have I learned from it? Most definitly. But the things I would really want to change..well its kind of a moot point now.

So there you have it... "That girl" the one you want to have, the one you wish you could forget.

Song o'the day : Bother-Stone Sour.

I have once again decided to change the look of my blog. I liked the flair of the other style but I couldn't use certain colors because they didn't show up very well.

I also think it suits my style, a little mysterious and dark with splashes of crazy colors.

So I sat down to have breakfast this morning and decided to have a muffin. I don't normally eat a lot of muffins but I was in the mood for one this morning. Turns out it was like..the most useless muffin I ever attempted to eat. I say that because this muffin was soft..really really soft. I mean there is cake like soft, when the muffins first come out of the oven and they are really good, this was like...Slightly damp sand. Crumbly,soft and gritty. I tried to put butter on it and it was like eating a butter ball with a muffin crumb coating.

I posted a few more poems below, they are actually older poems from my past blogs but I still like them.

I am thinking I may write a post on why I call myself "That girl" .. kinda like one of those.."Behind the Music" things...except it would be "Behind the blog".

Silent lust.

you wink at me from across the room
here we go again
is it getting warm in here
or is it just you
your undressing me with your eyes
I know your starting at my ass
you make me want to growl
and take you to the floor
tangled up, I'm in so deep
I want to tempt you to break rules
slip your lips along my skin
make me ask for sin again
be gentle and tender
break me from the inside
pull my hair a little
push me over the edge.



Why are you here?


your four inches from my face
can't you see your in my space
can't you see that maybe
your being so close to me drives me crazy
of course you know it
I'm trying not to show it
I think it amuses you
just to see this is what you do
I feel like a tiger in a cage
stuck in between passion and rage
I want to escape but I don't want to try
your making me laugh
when I'm wanting to cry
What answers are you trying to see
by staring like that at me
what truths are you trying to find
hidden in the corners of my mind
the color on my face gives away how I feel
a fire burning too deep to conceal
do I speak to you without saying a word
or is my thinking that absurd.

Just a question....

Have any of you ever wondered if your crazy?

I don't mean like...going postal but just...hmmm I don't know.

Its like all of a sudden I'm seeing certain things in a different light and I don't dare chalk it up to any kind of maturity. Thats just silly. So I must be crazy.

hiatus!

Sorry about my lack of posties but my computer has had a nasty bout of trojan worm virus thingies..yes that is the technical term. :P

Thing that sucks is that I lost all my tunes all my pics and all my poems. Meh I guess I can get most of them back. Plus I suppose I shouldn't pine for material things.

Baby is doing good and very smilely. Heavy as fuck though~ 15 pounds and he will be 4 months on Thursday. Hes really active so I'm not too worried about it. I'm also getting a good workout from lifting him all the time.

I got an email from a friend of my in Sask today and she said she ran into another girl I used to know in high school and she asked about me. It tripped me out because I was just thinking about her last week. I totally believe in psychic connections and whatnot..so who knows.

Okay well I want to know what everyone else has been doing this week!

No more hot rapper sex dreams to report..I'm still having sexy dreams but they happen to be about someone(s) (LOL) that might read this blog. Since I don't know for sure I'm not gonna say ;) If you really want to know email me or something.

Love,peace and chicken grease...

Weird...

I had a dream that I was dating 50 cent. But it wasn't like he was all famous. Not that I mind, he still has a body like a brick shit house...aww yeah...

Er, anyway I thought it was strange because I rarely have "those" kind of dreams. It probably further stresses that I luvs the bad boys.

They are just so darn fun..

Also I would like to note that my post last night was fueled by a nice bottle of Australian Port. So yeah I'm assuming if I punched myself in the face it would not be a good idea :)

my choo-choo of thoughts...

Your a stupid fucking computer and I hate you.

( me)"We have like 20 bottles of wine that we never drink"
(mom) "So why don't you drink them?"
(me) Done and done.

I'm not getting drunk, I'm being social. Yes I'm being social by and to myself.

all that I'm saying, is give peas a chance.

I would love to let someone paint a murial on my back. Or I would even just settle for having my whole body airbrushed like a tiger. Just like those women at playboy parties.

I'm pretty sure I have a split personality/no I don't/yes I do.

I've been told that my skin is abnormally soft

I can not flirt to save my life. I can talk a good game but I'm actually really really shy.

I'm a lover and a biter.

I've always wondered what would happen if I punched myself in the face. Would I knock myself out?

If I had more kids names I like are : Leia,Raiel, Emmerson and Petri. petri would be after my favorite character in "the land before time" yup yup yup.

The only problem with with getting booty...

Its like chocolate,you can't help but want more.

I want more dammit, and I'm not talking about the chocolate.

I just got back from a picnic with my boss and co workers..and my boss's hot son. SHWING!

The down side was wearing a white teeshirt because as fate would have it, it started to rain. But I'm a shameless hussy so I suppose it really wasn't that bad. Its not like you could see anything anyway. Plus he's so fine I wouldn't have a problem with him sneaking a peak if you could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh by the way, that line above indicates a new line of though. I wouldn't want to confuse any of my helment readers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm obsessed with peanut butter right now. I don't know why but its just sooo good. I know I'm not pregnant, so I'm assuming I must be lacking protein or something. heheh nuts.. Mind you,the whole crazy craving/preggo thing is totally true. I knew I was when I actually drank a virgin *oh the irony* ceasar(I'm allergic to vodka and such) but I WANTED the tomato juice. I hate tomatos usually.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh also I found out that my poor baby has a displaced miniscus I believe. Its a piece of cartilege in the knee that causes his knee to pop. Its not causing him pain so its not severe. They can't do surgery and it may possible correct itself but hes not allowed to play sports. I was kinda sad..because I really wanted to get him into hockey. He can still swim though. I also suppose he can play guitar instead :)

Well seeing as how I have now sufficiently bored everyone I'm going to bed.

Fading,floundering,hoping to find
something that used to live in my mind
There was a voice that once used to say
"careful girl, don't give it all away"
threw that caution to the wind
silenced a voice that spoke within.

I gave a gift that was not recieved
and was left with a heart decieved
to feel the touch and gentle kiss
an emotion that I will always miss
but your poison spread so thick
might not spread in my heart so quick.



Yeah I know its girly poetry, but I kinda like my girly poetry so..:P

I'm baaa--aaccck!

Yup back from visiting my sister. Just a quick blog cuz I'm really tired.

I think I cleaned out Old Navy....

Will write more later. peace out kiddies.